Roscrea's Emma Coonan's monthly column: 'Making Your Next Move to Wellbeing'

As August draws to a close, school uniforms are visible again on trains and buses, against a backdrop of trees beginning to betray a slight golden hue in their leaves.

It gives me a little shiver I must admit to notice these small seasonal movements, as I have been enjoying the long summer evenings and don’t feel quite ready for another seasonal shift. Regardless of our readiness however, the seasons will keep on moving, bringing a mix of comfort and discomfort depending on what is happening in our lives.

One of the many happenings in our life this summer was doing unexpected work on the house. What started out as one job (or so we thought) quickly became many more unexpected jobs, creating what my husband accurately referred to as a domino effect. I found myself reflecting on the game of dominos, and how much it often mirrors the game of life.

The Domino Effect

As many will be familiar with, dominos is a game involving a number of tiles with dots, like dice. As I found myself reading about the game I discovered there are many more nuances to the game than just avoiding falling dominos. The basic premise of the game however is to avoid ‘the domino effect’, whereby one falling domino causes all of the dominos to fall.

We often hear the phrase ‘the domino effect’ used to describe events in our lives cascading from one to the other, each event having an impact on the next, usually whether we like it or not. This cascade often has an unavoidable influence on the next move we make. Perhaps the reason this phrase became part of our language is because the image of the falling dominos so powerfully represents this experience.

If you have ever played the game, there is something almost majestic about the flow from one to the other. It cannot be stopped once it has begun, and this is often also the case in life. Certainly in our case, the jobs that cascaded from that first job were unplanned and unwanted, but they could not be avoided once that first job began. This type of domino effect can cause a lot of stress, as it feel as though things are out of your control.

Taking Pause to Recover

As I read a little more about the game of dominos (which is quite interesting, if anyone has a few spare moments over a cup of tea), one player describes the game as a mix o strategy, tactics, and luck. This resonated with me as a good analogy for life, as often after all of the planning, we can only hope for a little bit of good luck!

Another element of the game described is the importance of taking time to recover from setbacks. One way to do this when playing the game of dominos is to adjust the number of points needed to win the game. The higher the number of points, the more time players have to recover to regroup, despite making mistakes or experiencing a set back at an early stage.

Although it can sometimes be difficult to re-set the points mid-play in life, it is hopefully not impossible. This analogy when applied to our wellbeing invites us to take a pause when life throws us a curve ball. This pause can help us to stand back for a moment and decide on our next move, even if that next move wasn’t in the original game plan.

Making the Next Move

Of course, when a game of dominos ends it is easy to pick up the pieces and start again. In life, this is not always so easy. Sometimes when we find ourselves in a domino effect, the impact can feel overwhelming, leaving us unsure how to make the next move.

The game of dominos teaches us that even if our next move is hampered or blocked by our opponent, there is often another way forward. We may need to pivot, pause, or simply persevere to find a way, but we can still win the game, or if not win we can enjoy the fun of playing the game.

When we find ourselves in a domino effect in life, sometimes the best way forward is simply to make the next move, however small that may seem. It may be a phone call to seek information, or a chat with a friend to get a new perspective. Often after a few small moves, a new way forward can reveal itself.

A final thought...

While the game of dominos can easily be re-set, the game of life is often more complicated. However, taking small lessons from this game can help us to pause, pivot, or persevere in the face of the unexpected.

Emma Coonan (pictured above) is an Accredited Psychotherapist with IAHIP and ICP, Lectures in Psychotherapy, and is a qualified Adult Education Trainer. After leaving Coláiste Phobal Roscrea, Emma studied English and Media in Maynooth University, before combining her Psychotherapy training with experience in the corporate world.

Emma focuses on applying Psychotherapy practices for everyday living, through developing resilience, stress response, and mindfulness practice.