'I had to organise a wedding and a funeral in a week': Husband's moving tribute to late wife

A MAN who married, and then buried, the love of his life in the space of a week has paid an emotional tribute to the woman who “has left a hole in my heart that will never be filled”.

“I had to organise a wedding and a funeral in a week,” said heartbroken Dave McLoughlin, aged 35, who married his childhood sweetheart Michelle Crowe, 33, in a rare wedding ceremony in the chapel in University Hospital Limerick (UHL) on Monday, March 20.

Michelle passed away from an extremely aggressive form of breast cancer at 2.23am on the following Saturday.

Dave bravely spoke to the Limerick Leader/Limerick Live as he wants as many people as possible to know “what an amazing human being Michelle was”.

“We got married on a Monday and we had her wake on the following Monday. I never thought it was possible to feel pain like I feel it now. As the days go on the pain gets worse,” said Dave.

The couple were together for almost 19 years and have two children - Cillian, aged 13, and Oisín, 14-months-old. They met outside Cappawhite Church by chance when they were teenagers and have been inseparable ever since.

Coincidentally, Dave's late mother Noreen and father Jimmy met when he came to Cappawhite to help build the church. Dave and Michelle’s family and many friends said a final farewell to the young mother in the very same church on Tuesday, March 28.

“She was small and unassuming but she had the biggest heart in the world - she had so much love for so many people and she never had a bad word to say about anybody. She would be there for you in a heartbeat if you called her at 5am but, above all, she was my best friend in the whole world.

"She has left a hole that will never be filled. I will never look at someone the same way as I looked at Michelle for as long as I live. No matter how bad things got, we always had each other's backs,” said Dave, from Cappawhite.

The couple endured many dark days. Tragically, their baby John James was stillborn and Michelle’s parents passed away within six months of each other - Nora had a brain aneurysm while John had esophageal cancer.

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“Throughout that time my mam, Noreen, was undergoing treatment for lung cancer. Michelle gave up her life to look after my mam as well as helping her grandfather. She spent so much time looking after everybody else. Over the last seven years we have had a funeral a year.”

Last September, Michelle, originally from Dundrum, went to her doctor due to a concern over a cyst. She was immediately sent to the emergency department in UHL.

Michelle was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer. Chemotherapy commenced and Michelle underwent surgery on Valentine’s Day which was successful. However, in the following weeks her bloods and a CT scan showed that the cancer had spread to her liver.

“It was so aggressive that nobody could understand how fast it was progressing. I fell apart. I couldn't handle it at all. Michelle shed a couple of tears here and there but she never let it get to her. She said, “I will do as much as I can with whatever time I have left. There was no “why me?” She was more concerned about everybody else.”

The couple had been engaged for seven years and had always planned on getting married. Dave mentioned it to a nurse on the Thursday before he would wed Michelle.

The nurse quickly put the wheels in motion - a Limerick court service employee had a judge signing paperwork on the Saturday evening, the county registrar was taking phone calls and overseeing paperwork while at the Ireland v England rugby match in the Aviva Stadium and staff in St Camillus’ completed paperwork and gave Dave the marriage certificate on the Sunday. The next day Dave and Michelle got married in UHL

“Everybody did all they could to organise it. Nurses had decorated the chapel and organised a speaker to play our song (Everything I Do) I Do It For You by Bryan Adams. Nurses brought Michelle down in her wheelchair but she walked up the aisle with her brother Darren. It was beautiful. She had such a lovely day. I could tell it was taking a lot out of her but she never complained. The nurses booked a meal in the Unicorn and when I went up to pay, the Mid Western Cancer Society had left €300 with the barman.

“When we got back to the room in UHL the nurses had decorated it with lights and balloons and had a table with non alcoholic champagne. We slept in the same bed and had some of the nicest cuddles we had in a long time.”

Dave said from the moment they walked into the oncology unit and breast clinic in UHL they “could not have done more for Michelle”.

“It is a debt I will never be able to repay to all the staff in 6b.” The day after the wedding, Michelle was transferred to Milford where she went to her eternal reward in the early hours of Saturday morning, March 25.

“The staff were so kind and caring - I don’t know how they do that job. They make it as much like home as possible. They looked after her with so much with love. They have my undying gratitude.”

Dave also wishes to thank his and Michelle’s family and many, many friends for their support before and after her passing. “If it hadn’t been for them I would be lost. They organised a Go Fund Me which we wouldn’t have survived financially without. She was so beloved by everybody, literally the entire village where we live is heartbroken. I don’t think she realised how loved she was”.

Friends and family of Michelle and Dave will gather together for a fundraiser this Saturday night in Armshaw’s bar in Cappawhite called Go Pink for Michelle.

One of Michelle’s wishes when she got better was to pick baby Oisín up and give him a big cuddle.

“Michelle loved them both so much. She set a great example for our two boys. I’m going to make it my mission to honour her memory every single day and do as good a job with those two lads as she would want me too.”