10 things that happen during every episode of Room To Improve

Dermot will lose the run of himself

Justin Kelly

Reporter:

Justin Kelly

Email:

Justin.Kelly@offalyexpress.ie

10 things that happen during every episode of Room To Improve

The word 'space' 

Dermot will say it so much, the entire country ends the night calling their sitting room a space. The notions!
 
Dermot will completely ignore the budget
 
No amount of quantity surveyors can hold the man back. The clients will be picked off the floor when he goes around €30,000 over their budget. 
 
A row will break out over windows
 
Bannon will try to pull a fast one on the colour of the windows to be all artsy and architectural. The clients will be having none of it. Throw the PVC ones in there!
 
A builder will lose the will to live
 
The poor beleaguered builder will be forced to tear down a whole wall in the interest of 'symmetry.' God help us!
 
Dermot will try to put something completely mad into the design 
 
Ah yeah, we all want an atrium made of crystals in beside the kitchen. All the client wants is a decent utility room. Reign it in there, Dermot!  
 
There'll be a huge floor to ceiling window
 
It's almost become known as the Dermot Bannon window. He says it's all about being connected back to nature, all we care about is the smell of jealousy off the neighbours. 
 
An enormous problem will be found
 
Whether it's wood rot in the roof or a problem with the foundations, the poor old client will be whacked with the bill. The builder's having none of him bearing the hit. 'Sure I have my lads to pay at the end of the day.'
 
There'll be ructions over the kitchen
 
There isn't a woman in Ireland who'll accept the opinion of a man when it comes to the colour of the kitchen. Dermot will break out virtual reality headsets so they can 'get a feel' for their new bright orange presses. 
 
An aul one will cry
 
A granny will be produced for the big reveal and will be overcome by the beauty of the atrium and the next generation blah blah blah. 'No more free wine for you, Mary.'
 
The builder will get a well deserved drink
 
All the issues are resolved, the clients are moved in and saddled with colossal debt, but everyone is happy nonetheless. The builder will get a well deserved bottle of something alcoholic. God bless his patience!