Lauren is a drama teacher, holding an Honours degree in Performing Arts, a classically trained singer, a lover of vintage fashion, chocolate, reading, arts, crafts, writing and chats. Her blog shares her thoughts, opinions, experiences as well as dreams and wishes with you all.
1. You no longer need an alarm clock when you have a toddler to wake you up. Although when you actually need to be up for something important, your little alarm clock on that particular day will decide to have themselves a little lie in
2. Your wake up calls are random and intense to say the least. You could be woken up by a toddler sitting on your head, pouring the remainder of their milk bottle on your face, throwing the lamp from the bedside locker at you, by a toddler jumping up and down while holding onto the headboard, by a toddler screaming, the list goes on.
3. Facebook messenger, whatsapp and texting are a thing of the past. You will leave your friend hanging on facebook chat for five minutes to scrape mash potato off the ceiling and wipe your toddler's face and you will return four days later.
4. You will get used to peeing while having a two foot human smiling at you from the other side of the bathroom.
5. You will be followed. Everywhere.
6. You will know every character, story-line, song, word, colour and syllable from every episode of Peppa Pig. EVER.
7. Remember those parents you used to secretly judge for not being able to keep control of their toddlers in shopping centres? Yeah? Well two years on you quietly apologise to them as you peel your own screaming toddler off the floor of Smyth's Toy Shop.
8. You will be a little bit raging but somewhat amused when your toddler finds the box of their new, shiny and very expensive birthday present far more interesting than the present itself.
9.You will become a security guard while out shopping, following your toddler around, stopping them from pulling down, destroying or stealing anything that stands in their way.
10. It's perfectly normal to leave a glass of orange juice down on the table and to return to find a piece of lego floating in it.
11. Your make up bag will go missing and you will find it in the fridge.
12. Your food, the food that is about to make it's way into your mouth, will be far more appealing to your toddler than the meals you have carefully prepared for them. You'll be making extra for when that open mouth is coming towards you demanding your sweet and sour chicken.
13. You will finally know what your parents meant when they said ''You'll understand one day when you have your own children.''