Depression is a dark and dreary place where we drink tears for breakfast reflects Offaly columnist

THERE are times when we believe in everything and everybody but ourselves. There is a constant search for mentors and role models when they exist within us with the Holy Spirit of Jesus being the best one ever. The most brutal hardship that we take is the one that we inflict upon ourselves. We make one mistake and using a boxing analogy we count ourselves "out". We beat ourselves down into a state of depression.

Depression is a dark and dreary place where we drink tears for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We tend to use our carnal mind, eyes and ears that are distorted during this dark time. There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be and you feel like your prayers are not being heard. Trust me I have been there. But that’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better and to pray even harder and to put all your trust even more so in God.

Trust in God

There are times when people disappoint you, say unkind things to you and let you down but those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself and all that you are capable of and totally put all your trust in God. There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you and pray to God constantly and lovingly to guide you and protect you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are and how much God really loves you and cares for you. So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be and turn to God and trust him with your journey of life, because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you and to always keep your trust and your faith in God.

Meant to be

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there. To serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. I think RTE's Operation Transformation programme when I was a participant, especially through the wisdom and guidance of Dr. Eddie Murphy, was one of those experiences for me where I met four other fantastic leaders and brilliant experts and even better behind-the-scenes people. You never know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them; you know that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realise that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realised your potential, strength, will power, heart or real faith, belief and trust in God.

If someone loves you, love them back

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly-paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are and the bad experiences can be good teachers.

In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, is unkind to you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and being cautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and to open your heart and eyes to little things.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before - and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it. “If you take your eyes off your goals, all you see are obstacles.” As usual a story from my Nana Scully's prayer book might help explain more.

Clay balls

"A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could. He thought little about it until he dropped one of the balls and it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone. Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure.

He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of euros in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he just threw it away."

Clay vessels

It's like that with people. We look at someone and even look at ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling so we discount it. We see that person or ourselves as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person or ourselves by God. There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person or get to know ourselves, and if we ask God to show us that person or ourselves the way He sees us, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.

May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in love for ourselves and for our friendships and for others because the gems were hidden in bits of clay. May we see ourselves and the people in our world as God sees them. Jesus came in a meek and lowly form so it shouldn't surprise us that most of His treasures are hidden in obscurity, out of sight to the proud.

Thought for the week

As your thought for the week, ask God to give you faith, courage and strength in yourself, not only on the days when you are going great and winning and nothing seems impossible, but on days when you wonder if you are brave enough, smart enough, caring enough, loving enough, faithful enough or strong enough. Don't quit on you, not ever. Keep faith in yourself and keep trusting in God. No matter how many people discourage you, doubt you, laugh at you, warn you, be unkind to you, judge you, cancel you, think you are a fool, please don't listen to them.

Hear another voice within you telling you, God's voice telling you, "You can do it, and you will!" If nobody else in the whole world seems to care or believe in you, believe in yourself because God is with you always and will never give up believing you and loving you. I know there will be times when you doubt your own ability, you will be discouraged and on the verge of despair. Don't give up, hang on to you and always trust in God. Fan the fires of your faith so that you will try even harder. Give yourself even more faith in yourself and in God. You are the source of your abilities and your faith. You are you, believe in yourself and love yourself and know that God will always love you and be there for you.

Let me finish this thought with one of my favourite prayers called "Patient Trust," by Fr. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin and it goes as follows, "Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient to be on the way to something unknown, something new. And yet it is the law of all progress, that it is made by passing through some stages of instability and that it may take a very long time. And so I think it is with you; your ideas mature gradually—let them grow, let them shape themselves, without undue haste. Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time, that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will, will make of you tomorrow. Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incompleteness. Amen."