Humility: 'Serve others don't lord over them' advises Offaly influencer

The faith needed to live out the Christian life is directly related to humility. But one of the things that gets in the way of humility is a performance-driven mindset. When we live this way, our need for the Lord diminishes and our pride begins to flourish.

Serving others, not lording it over them, pastoral care and humility is the message from this week's thought for the week. Ambition is dismantled by Jesus. Ambition and seats of honour build walls rather than bridges. An unknown philosopher has the following advice: 'Unless we can hear each other singing and crying; unless we can comfort each other’s failures and cheer each other’s victories, we are missing out on the best that life has to offer. The only real action takes place on the bridge between people.'" So what bridge will you and I walk across during this week, to reach out our hands to another, in forgiveness, in humility, in care, in love, in faith, in freedom?

"The last will be first"

Now that we’ve all gone through the ritual of making and in a lot of cases probably already abandoned our New Year’s resolutions for the umpteenth year in a row, there may be a more appropriate self-improvement project to consider: Humility. "Nice guys finish last,” says the world.  “The last will be first,” replies Jesus. My guess is that God knows best who really wins in the end.  And he says “whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted” (Gospel of Luke 14:11). To understand why the humble get ahead and why the meek shall inherit the earth, we need to be sure that we understand what humility and meekness really are.

Humility does not mean looking down on oneself or thinking ill of oneself.  It really means not thinking of oneself very much at all. The humble are free to forget themselves because they are secure.  They accept the fact that, as creatures, they are small, vulnerable, and not ultimately in control.  But they know there is a God who is great, omnipotent, and totally in control. And they know that they’ve been made in the image and likeness of God.  That gives them a dignity that they don’t have to earn and can never be taken away.  Though they’ve tarnished the divine likeness through sin, they know that God came down from the heights of heaven to become human and fix what they couldn’t fix. So when they mess up, the humble don’t have to cover up. 

They just say “please forgive me,” give thanks for God’s mercy, and move on.  And when their creaturely limitations cause them to fail, they are not surprised.  They realize that they are not God. All this is simply a way of saying that the humble are in touch with reality.

Secret of humility

Unfortunately in modern times we’ve developed some false connotations for the word Humility, such as blind obedience, self abasement, shyness, not standing up for ourselves or taking credit for our success. In a highly individualized, competitive world where we must promote ourselves constantly to get jobs, be popular and succeed in many areas, the old fashioned notion of humility seems to only hold one back.

However, the secret of humility is that the more successful, the more recognized and loved you are, the harder it is to maintain and when one does meet an admirable person with this virtue, it is beautiful beyond measure. Humility is not putting yourself down or lacking pride, it is not excessive modesty or submissiveness. Change to become a better person is possible, but it is very, very difficult, so we will be far more successful if we approach our goals with humility.

This is why St. Augustine says, “humility is the foundation of all the other virtues.” Everything we do will go better with a dose of humility, so it’s worth thinking about. What is humility? Let’s start by listing what it’s not. Humility is not feeling ashamed of yourself for no good reason, low self-esteem, lack of willingness to take risks, or passivity. A humble person does not reject compliments or refuse to accept credit for a job well-done.

St. Thomas Aquinas, in a definition that is simple but accurate, says, “the virtue of humility consists in keeping oneself within one’s own bounds.” So, if we desire to be humble, we must know ourselves accurately so that we know our limits. We know what we can do and also what we cannot do. A humble person is honest. We achieve humility when we completely conquer the ego and when we do not see ourselves as superior to any other human being and when we are fully grateful for everything we have achieved and those who have helped us along the way. It’s when we stop pushing others down so that we might step up and instead support each other arm in arm and hand in hand. It is not at all an easy state to achieve.

Acceptance

As the song goes, "Oh Lord, it's so hard to be humble when I am perfect in every way", but to be truly humble we must learn to acknowledge that we are wrong and imperfect sometimes. We must accept positive feedback from others with grace and gratitude, trying our best to learn from our mistakes rather than ignoring any suggestions that we don’t want to hear. Rather we must learn to accept help and advice with gratitude. We must also take full responsibility for our failures and the consequences of these and not turn the blame on others.

A large part of humility is forgiveness. When we learn to forgive those who have wronged us and also to apologize to those we have wronged we step off our soapbox and learn that it is not our role to judge others. We must also endure unfair treatment with patience and grace, knowing that the world is not always fair but we can do our best to be so. A humble Person can be happy for others; can rejoice in their successes and achievements without feeling that they are any less because of them. With this we must try to only think and speak good things about others, celebrating their strengths rather than complaining about their flaws.

Gratitude

Gratefulness is another key element to humility. To not merely be successful and happy and beautiful, but grateful for every blessing we are given and every reward we work for. Also to be thankful to everyone who helps us along the way, no matter how small or great their aid may be, even having those that support and believe in you is immensely fortunate. Give credit where it is due and show gratitude. A humble person is never above helping others. In fact they should look for opportunities to be of service and assistance to friends, family and strangers. However, to do so humbly is to not shout it from the rooftops, but rather do good deeds without any recognition or reward, to even remain anonymous in this charity.

Perhaps the truest measure of humility is in the way we treat others with respect, kindness and compassion regardless of their age, gender, race or social status. A humble person is kindest to those who have nothing to offer them and will listen with as much attention to a child as to a King. I say again, that these are not easy things to achieve, they are high goals to try and reach for, and the true humble person fails to get there sometimes. Of all the beautiful people I have met though, those that are humble in their greatness are by far the most admirable. It takes a pure heart to soar high and still keep one’s feet on the ground.

Live each day to the fullest

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, It is because we are different that each of us is special. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important, Only you know what is best for you. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart, Cling to that as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life. Don't give up when you still have something to give.

Nothing is really over … until the moment you stop trying. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect, It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other. Don't be afraid to encounter risks, It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly, And the best way to keep love is to give it wings. Don't dismiss your Dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope. To be without hope is to be without purpose. Don't run through life so fast that you forget where you've been, But also know where you're going. Life is not a race but a journey to be savoured every step of the way. Live each day to the fullest.

Heart of service

Our lives should always have humility and service at its heart, Teresa of Avila's words remind us of our awesome task. "Christ has no body now but yours; no hands, no feet on earth, but yours. Yours are the eyes through which He looks with compassion on this world. Yours are the feet with which He walks to do good; Yours are the hands with which He blesses all the world. Christ has nobody on earth but yours." We need movements rooted in love right now, movements powered not by difference and exclusion and punishment, but by common ground, compassion, humility, healthy boundaries, patience and healing. Humility is about living an integrated life, a life in which each part is in harmony with every other.

Thought for the week

As your thought for the week, always remember to keep a healthy dose of humility in your lives. By doing so you are constantly keeping yourself in check with others around you, and at the same time you are opening yourself up to continue learning and growing as a person. Humility can be one of the best psychological tools we humans have – the ability to know that we aren’t perfect, we aren’t broken, we are who we are and we are all very special and don’t ever forget that!

Practicing humility results in a whole range of benefits. It soothes the soul, enhances leadership skills, helps with self-control, boosts work performance, and contributes to healthier, better relationships. We never get all the way there, there’s never a moment when we can relax and declare that, finally we are more humble than everyone else, but the fact that the journey is ongoing is good news. It means there’s always something new just around the corner. Maybe becoming more humble is a resolution we all should make every year. If we keep working at it, who knows what we’re capable of accomplishing?

Let me finish with a favourite prayer I pray about trying to be a humble person that always tries to show real humility. "Dear Lord, Your truth runs counter to our self-exalting world: humble service is the path to a life well lived. This truth isn’t weak or foolish as the world would think, but is a blessed and honorable gospel garment donned by those who love You, the One who exalts the humble and brings down the proud. Oh, that the entire world would live in humility before You and each other! While I aspire to a life of godly humility, the pull of pride seems too strong to overcome at times. I so often desire to sit on your throne instead of bowing before You. I think highly of myself and my accomplishments and forget I am a human being made of dust who at best can be called a servant. Oh, Lord, rescue me from foolish pride and help me learn from Your gentle and humble heart! Gracious Father, reprogram my soul with your Word to remember the world is all about Doing good and kind acts for others in Jesus name and not myself. Help me not think more highly of myself than I ought, but to delight in regarding others as more important. Rescue me from the self-deception of pride by giving me a realistic view of my life, talents, and relationships with others and with you; always looking to the cross which reveals both the wrath I deserve and Your costly grace.

In my battle against pride, keep me from a false humility that fails to recognize Your gracious gifts. Rather, help me steward what you have given me as a faithful servant—a servant ready to wear the garment of humility and serve you in whatever way would most help Your Kingdom and to help especially those most in need in our society and world and bring praise to Your Name. Lord, Your Son left the pleasures of heaven for a life of service on earth—and He gave his life for all people. Help me have His attitude, remembering that You oppose the proud and gives grace to the humble. You must become greater; I must become less—only then does the glorious reality shine forth that Christ is highly exalted above every name in heaven and on earth. May my entire being bow before You in loving allegiance, confessing You as Lord over all of my life and all of creation, to the praise of Your glory. Amen.

There is no better way for the beauty of Heaven to shine gloriously through our lives than when we get out of the way and allow Jesus to increase in our hearts and lives. If pride has been a stumbling block in your past, bring that to the foot of the Cross and repent of it. Then ask for His amazing grace to change your heart and enrobe it in humility.