'Be kind and do good' in 2023 recommends Offaly influencer

At the start of each new year I always try to dedicate the year to being kind and doing good to people and to try and treat people the way I would like to be treated. We all know that life is, at times, hard and difficult.

It is filled with disappointments and sadness and is a roller coaster ride of ups and downs that leave us unsure how to stand up and face the music. At times, it leaves us feeling broken beyond repair, and in other situations as though we're on top of the world, believing we couldn't be more fulfilled. The thing is, most people never truly open up as to if they are in that time of brokenness or fulfillment, so we just don't know. I've always believed we were put on this planet to help heal and care for the wounds of others.

We do that from our own experiences, but we also do it daily through kindness and doing good. None of us are perfect. We all mess up from time to time, well I know I mess up a lot at times anyway. Some of us learned to be quick to apologize and quick to forgive, knowing our own need for grace in this life. But I think we could all take a lesson and how to be more kind and do good in everything we do, no matter what's going on in our own lives or around us and we should always try to "be kind and do good".

I know, for me, I'm certainly going to make it a top priority in my own life to do all things with kindness and goodness as we journey into 2023. We just never know how far a smile, a hug or a loving word of encouragement can go in making a difference in the lives of another. I believe if we truly understood the impact, we would do it unceasingly. Another thing I am always mindful of at this time of the year is what Abraham Lincoln once said: “Kindness is the only service that will stand the storms of life and not wash out. It will wear well and be remembered long after the prism of politeness or the complexion of courtesy has faded away. When I am gone, I hope it can be said of me that I plucked a thistle and planted a flower wherever I thought a flower would grow.”

More loving world

In the quest to create a gentler, more loving world, kindness is the easiest tool we can use. Though it is easy to overlook opportunities to be kind, our lives are full of situations in which we can be helpful, considerate, thoughtful, caring, loving and friendly to loved ones as well as strangers. The touching, selfless acts of kindness that have the most profoundly uplifting effects are often the simplest: a word of praise, a gentle touch, a helping hand, a gesture of courtesy, a listening ear, a warm friendly letter or email, the lighting of a prayer candle, a hug or a smile. 

Such small kindnesses represent an unconditional form of love that we are free to give or withhold at will. When you give the gift of kindness, whether in the form of assistance, concern, or friendliness, your actions create a beacon of happiness and hope that warms people’s hearts. The components of kindness are compassion, mercy, love, care, empathy, respect and generosity. Put simply, kindness is the conscious act of engaging others in a positive way without asking whether those individuals deserve to be treated kindly. All living beings thrive on kindness and doing good. A single, sincere compliment can turn a person’s entire world around. Holding a door, or thanking someone who has held a door for you, can inspire others to practice politeness and make already kind individuals feel good about their efforts.

Smiling at people you meet, even those who make you feel like frowning, can turn a dreary encounter into a delightful one, for both of you. Every kind act has a positive influence on the individual who has performed the act as well as on the recipient, regardless of whether the act is acknowledged. Kindness brings about more kindness and slowly but surely makes a positive impact on humanity. You’ll discover that each act of kindness you engage in makes the world, in some small way, a better place and it warms the heart's of many. Kindness starts with caring and being tenderhearted and compassionate toward others. Kindness is humbly giving of ourselves in love and mercy to others who may not be able to give anything back, who sometimes don’t deserve it, and who frequently don’t thank us for it.

Basically kindness means a way of thinking that leads to doing thoughtful deeds for others and doing good to them and for them. As Maya Angelou said, "While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation."

"How are you doing!!"

Helping and being kind to others is not only a good thing to do, it also makes us happier. Giving also connects us to others and helps to build a happier society for everyone. And it's not all about money, we can also give of our time and energy. So if you want to feel good, do good! Doing things for others, whether small, unplanned acts or regular volunteering is a powerful way to boost our own happiness as well as those around us. The people we help may be strangers, family, friends, colleagues or neighbors. They can be old or young, nearby or far away. Giving to others can be as simple as a single kind word, smile or a thoughtful gesture. It can include giving time, care, skills, thought or attention.

Acts of kindness increases life satisfaction, provides a sense of meaning, increases feelings of competence, improves our mood and reduces stress. It can help to take our minds off our own troubles too. Giving to others helps us connect with people and meets one of our basic human needs - relatedness.  Kindness and caring also seem to be contagious. When we see someone do something kind or thoughtful, or we are on the receiving end of kindness, it inspires us to be kinder ourselves. Kindness and selfless giving really are the key to creating a happier, more trusting community. So this year I am deliberately going to try and nourish my soul with acts of kindness. The following is a list of acts of kindness that we can all do and you can add to the list if you want. ‘Say “I love you” to the people you love. Hold the door open for the person behind you. Let someone out in front of you in traffic. Give something to the homeless or a charity in need especially if you can, your time.

Write a thank you note to one of your teachers or someone that supported you in the past or present and let them know how grateful you are for them. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. Put some money in the parking meter or on the cafe bill for the next person. Help the elderly and parents with small children. Thank the men and women in uniform. Smile and say hello to a complete stranger. Pay someone’s toll. Be kind to people and animals. Pick up a bill in a restaurant. Volunteer in your community. Practice gratitude everyday and simply be kind. Take a minute to direct someone who is lost. Offer to pick up groceries for an elderly neighbor. Give a homeless person tea or a friendly listening ear. Help a mother carry her baby stroller up the shopping centre stairs. Each time you get a new item of clothing, give away something old. Bring your colleagues coffee. Out of the blue, send flowers to a friend. Say “please” and “thank you”—and really mean it. When you’re on a crowded train or bus, offer your seat to an elderly, disabled or pregnant person.

Don’t interrupt when someone is explaining themselves. Let a fellow driver merge into your lane. Forgive someone a debt–and never bring it up again. Listen with all your senses. Help as much as you can the most vulnerable and needy in our society. Write a note to the boss of someone who helps you, and explain how great a job that person is doing. Simply say “I’m sorry” when you’re wrong. Encourage someone who seems despondent.  Ask someone “How are you really doing?" and then really listen to their response. Do good as much as you can. Add to your own list of acts of kindness you can do this year.

An inspiring story of kindness

"Two boys walked down a road that led through a field. The younger of the two noticed a man toiling in the fields of his farm, his good clothes stacked neatly off to the side. The boy looked at his older friend and said, “Let’s hide his shoes so when he comes from the field, he won’t be able to find them. His expression will be priceless!” The boy laughed. The older of the two boys thought for a moment and said, “The man looks poor. See his clothes? Let’s do this instead: Let’s hide a €5 note in each shoe and then we’ll hide in these bushes and see how he reacts to that, instead.”

The younger companion agreed to the plan and they placed a €5 note in each shoe and hid behind the bushes. It wasn’t long before the farmer came in from the field, tired and worn. He reached down and pulled on a shoe, immediately feeling the money under his foot. With the €5 note now between his fingers, he looked around to see who could have put it in his shoe. But no one was there. He held the €5 note in his hand and stared at it in disbelief. Confused, he slid his other foot into his other shoe and felt the second €5 note. This time, the man was overwhelmed when he removed the second €5 note from his shoe. Thinking he was alone, he dropped to his knees and offered a verbal prayer that the boys could easily hear from their hiding place. They heard the poor farmer cry tears of relief and gratitude. He spoke of his sick wife and his boys in need of food. He expressed gratitude for this unexpected bounty from unknown hands.

After a time, the boys came out from their hiding place and slowly started their long walk home. They felt good inside, warm, changed somehow knowing the good they had done to a poor farmer in dire straits. A smile crept across their souls. We all have "poor farmers" toiling in the fields of their trials and difficulties along the roads of our lives. Their challenges might not be known to us. But their countenances often tell a story of pain. We have opportunities to hide shoes or hide "€5 notes" in them. When I hear of stories of kindness being done to others, I’m inspired to do the same. I think most of us are like that. We need each other’s inspiration as we travel life’s highways, trying to figure it all out. So please be kind to yourself and to one another. We all need acts of kindness in our life. They help make us better people. What acts of kindness have you performed? What kindnesses by others have blessed your life? "Be Kind and Do Good”, as much as you can during 2023.

Leave footprints of kindness

As the saying goes, “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." The fruit of all true life practices is kindness, kindness to others and also to ourselves. It is easy to speak and read about kindness, it is another to make it into your flesh and bones. In most cases, kindness is not beyond any of us because it usually costs no money. It may take the sacrifice of time and energy. It may require the discipline to be thoughtful of others' needs and to make the effort to act. How much is required to cultivate smiling rather than frowning, to pay a visit, to say a word of encouragement or comfort, to show friendliness by warmly and sincerely shaking hands or giving a hug to someone?

The consequences of kindness are incalculable, for such a spirit can ripple out to touch the lives of those far removed from the original act. Kindness sows the seeds that can only bear good fruit. Kindness should begin with our family and close friends. Ironically and tragically, many people display their most unkind behavior with the ones they should love the most.

Kindness is not a selfish attempt to get something for ourselves. It is a show of mercy and love to other human beings with no thought of reward. May we all develop the same type of love and kindness God has for us.

Remember as Scott Adams once said, "there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end." Can you imagine a world where no one gave to each other? Where we all just looked after our own needs and ignored everyone else’s? This would surely be a miserable place to live, for ultimately, whether spontaneous or planned, we cannot be happy without being kind, by giving, loving and caring for each other. Acts of kindness are essential to our well-being, as they liberate us from self-obsession, selfishness, and isolation. They are the effect of an open and loving nature. True generosity is giving without expectation, with no need to be repaid in any form. This is the most powerful act of generosity, as it is unconditional, unattached, and free to land wherever it will. Whether we give to our family, friends, or to strangers, it is the same. We may feel we have little to offer, but whether it is a few pennies or a whole bankroll, a cup of tea or a banquet is irrelevant. It is the act of giving itself that is important.

As Mahatma Gandhi said, "Almost anything kind we do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that we do it." Acts of kindness makes us feel good, valuable and alive. Think about the last time you went out of your way to be kind to someone. Didn’t it make your day too? Many people extend kindness as part of their good nature, but what if we made a more conscious effort to be even kinder by practicing kindness regularly? We will be spreading good feelings and making a difference that has a lasting, ripple effect and undoubtedly changing the world. Practice kindness while expecting nothing in return except the good feelings that these acts provide is life-giving and can also be life-saving.

Thought for the week

As your thought for the week, make it your goal and habit to be actively looking for opportunities to show kindness and do good, to one another and to others when it is possible and needed. Practice genuine kindness and goodness as much as you can in your daily life and ‘plant flowers’ and 'warm people's hearts' wherever you can! Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind. No act of kindness is ever wasted. And always remember that compassion has no limit and kindness has no enemy.

One thing I find very interesting is how our thinking changes when you hear the words of a terminal diagnosis and you have to fight for each day of life or when you have lost someone to bereavement in your family. To be there for loved ones and children, you let the unimportant go, you start to see the beauty in life and decisions, you become grateful for the smallest things, you understand time and how fragile life is and that every single day is a gift to be cherished and not to be wasted.

So please everyone enjoy your life as much as you can and cherish all the moments no matter how small for no one as my family knows only too well that nobody is guaranteed anything or tomorrow anymore. For kindness and goodness is not just being nice. Kindness and goodness is not just being sweet. Kindness and goodness goes way beyond that. We are supposed to treat each other with kindness and goodness, and we are supposed to treat even those who do us wrong with kindness and goodness.

“Be kind, one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). Let this year be a year when we are kind and do good always or as much as we can for the good of everyone.