How to embrace ageing and combat the fear of getting older

In a society that often idolises youth, ageing can trigger fears of losing relevance, beauty and vitality – and a recent Age UK survey of 2,121 UK adults aged 50-65 highlights this concern.

The research, which used Kantar online polling, found that nearly half (46%) of midlife respondents fear getting older, and almost two-thirds (64%) worry about whether they’ll still be able to enjoy life as they age. In addition, more than half (56%) expressed concerns about others, assuming they’re less capable as they age.

To mark Positive Ageing Week (September 26-October 3) – which aims to highlight the positive aspects of ageing and promote a more inclusive society for older adults – we spoke with Paul Farmer, CEO of Age UK. He shared some insight into what drives these negative perceptions and offered some advice on how we can shift our mindset and start to embrace ageing with confidence, curiosity and joy.

Why are so many people scared of ageing?

“It’s understandable that people do fear ageing because as a society we’ve created this world where that sense of ageing is a bad thing,” reflects Farmer. “The whole concept of ageism almost acts like a black cloud over a lot of people’s experiences as they get older, because they feel as though the nature of people, of what you’re doing, is a slow and inevitable decline.

“There’s also prevalent concerns around issues like mental and physical health, finance, and isolation in later life.”

What factors can exacerbate these negative perceptions about ageing?

“I think it’s all about the way that society generally treats older people,” recognises Farmer. “Our research found that more than 40% of people in midlife said their feelings about ageing were mostly negative, and people cited that this was due to things like the portrayal of older people in the media and what they have seen happen to other people. A lot of people also said that they were worried about the impact ageing would have on their ability to do things that they want to do, so this research highlighted a real broad set of issues.

“Of course, there’s also the whole question of ageism, which is almost embedded in our society – things like anti-ageing creams, the road sign with somebody bent over with a walking stick, for example. So, these things that are kind of almost embedded into our culture just perpetuate this idea that later life is going to be awful and you’re not going to be able to do anything.”

However, Age UK is determined to shift this negative mindset. Here are some of Farmer’s top recommendations on how to combat this fear of ageing and what we can do to embrace and enjoy the process of growing older…

Start to recognise ageist behaviours

“Call out really ageist behaviours,” advises Farmer. “So, an example of this is when somebody older is in hospital and is with a younger person, maybe their adult child, and the older person just gets talked across. They might say ‘How is she?’ to the doctor when that person is actually in the room at the same time. Speak up and challenge these kind of behaviours.”

Be proactive by staying active

“Take that positive step forward and take up regular physical activity,” recommends Farmer. “We’re running a campaign at the moment called Act Now, Age Better which is all about encouraging people be active and maybe pick up a new physical activity that you haven’t done before.”

Consider the type of environment that will boost your happiness

“In this country, traditionally, lots of older people just went to the seaside to retire – but interestingly, we’re beginning to see people who are thinking that’s not what they might want to do,” recognises Farmer. “They might want to stay in a city because the transport is better, or the culture is better or the health care is better. I think it’s important to openly start to embrace these conversations in midlife.”

Open up about your concerns

“I would encourage people to not to bottle it up and to openly talk about their concerns,” advises Farmer. “Pick up the phone and talk to us at Age UK nationally, or go to your local Age UK, or just talk to your friends and family.”

Focus on the positives

“There’s an awful lot of benefits about later life, so don’t be afraid of it,” says Farmer. “If you have got a bit of time on your hands, there are some fantastic benefits that you get from volunteering and there is also the utter joy of spending time with your grandchildren.”

Think about what you enjoy 

“Dedicate time to the things that you really enjoy,” recommends Farmer. “For some people that’s sport, art, theatre, music or cinema. Whatever it might be, allocate time to really deepen your understanding and your knowledge of it.”

Stay connected

“Prioritise your friendships and connections that you want to build and sustain,” recommends Farmer. “It’s really important to spend good quality time with friends and family.”

Focus on maintaining your strength in your upper body

“The ageing process can have a big impact on your upper body, so think about doing some simple, easy exercises that can help improve your upper body,” suggests Farmer. “You don’t need to go to a gym necessarily, just think about simple things you can do at home.”

“One of the brilliant things that we do across the Age UK network, at a local level, is encourage people to come and join exercise classes,” says Farmer. “Whether that’s walking football or going to a park run or taking part in activities like Tai Chi.”

Look for inspiring older role models

“Look at the Thursday Murder Club, for example. The books were written by Richard Osman and the film has been very well received,” says Farmer. “I think lots of people have seen it as a triumph for older people.

“These four older people get together to solve a crime from their nursing home and showcase their greatest skills. The cast includes the likes of Helen Mirren and Celia Imrie who are brilliant advocates for later life. Celia Imrie is about to appear on Celebrity Traitors and I think she’s the oldest celebrity taking part in the show, so we’re obviously rooting for her.”

Keep learning new things

“Do something that will get you out of the house and create that potential for learning and for connection,” advises Farmer.

Age UK is on a mission to change how we age and, as a charity, it is working locally, nationally, and internationally to make this happen. For more information and ways you can get involved, visit Age UK