An Offaly man's guide to buying 'the Mammy' a Christmas present
Fancy Mugs - She loves a good mug. If they come in a fancy decorative box, all the better. She'll rave more about the packaging than the mugs themselves, but when she's sipping tea out of them all those months later, you'll still be getting the credit!
Smellies - You can't go wrong with an aul set. Whether it's foamy, soapy stuff, or expensive perfume, your Mammy will only love it. 'I must be very smelly or something,' she'll joke, waiting for the big laugh...
Tickets to a show - She loves getting dressed up and hitting the town. Make it a musical in the bright lights of Dublin. Your father will curse your very existence if you include him on the jazz hands experience.
Bring her for a meal out - At the end of the day, all your mother wants is your time. A trip to her favourite restaurant might just do the trick, especially after she slaves over the Christmas dinner!
Candles - She hasn't burned the house down yet so one more won't hurt. The fancier the name the better, something like the Sunburst sea breeze pomegranate surprise one...you know yourself!?
Cushions - Sure you can't see the couch for cushions. If the one you buy is in any way personalised, she just might cry with happiness. The woman really like her cushions.
Downton Abbey Boxset - She loves all that 'oldy-worldy' type of thing. Sure, she doesn't get the time to follow it every week, and now can watch it at her leisure. Queue the phonecall a couple of weeks later - 'Now, come here, how do you work this DVD player thing?'
Something with 'Best Mammy in the World' written on it - She'll bring it out every now and then to remind you, usually when you're wrecking her head. 'Look at that, what does it say?'
A plug-in heated blanket - One that goes over you on the couch and not on the mattress of the bed. She'll be very impressed and proceed to tell everyone. "Yeah, one that you put over yourself - isn't that very clever, Mary?" It's your job to fix it when there's suddenly a 'burny smell off it.'
A Foot Spa - 'Sure, aren't I run off my feet the whole time.' A chance to show appreciation for all she's done for you over the years, and earn serious brownie points, of course.