OPINION (AN COLÚN): My first meeting with a False Widow Spider

SEATED upon the throne in the smallest room in our house one evening last week, while reading a poem describing cowled Scottish monks in a gothic church during a harsh winter night intoning words in Latin about the end of days (it was from Scott's 'Marmion'), I briefly stopped reading and looked up. A few feet away, high on the opposite wall, was a large spider. I thought little of it and resumed my reading.
The next day, while surfing the net, there were several stories about an increasing species of spider in Ireland called the Noble False Widow Spider. I realised that this was the spider I had seen the previous evening.
It was the first time I had ever seen the False Widow and it was quite coincidental that the very next day after my first sighting the media should be full of stories about this increasing arachnid in our midst.
I didn't like what I was reading. Spiders in Ireland are to my mind the good guys. In our house we allow a few spiders and their webs to live unperturbed. Not only do they catch flies, their webs also look attractive. The Noble False Widow Spider, however, was a different thing altogether. Its bite is 230 times the potency of other Irish spiders. It can leave you feeling very sick and needing to be hospitalised; however, for most people it resembles nothing worse than a wasp sting. I didn't fancy having something in the house which could cause us bodily harm of any type as we were going unsuspectingly about our business.
The False Widow is originally from Madeira and the Canary Islands but it has spread rapidly in Ireland over the last few years. The news articles that I've read about it told me, as I say, that for most people the bite is like a bee or wasp sting and therefore is not something to get unduly concerned about. Other articles pointed out that for a minority it can be quite serious when bitten by one of these creatures. A new study from NUI Galway has found that noble false widow spiders can deliver a venomous bite that can cause symptoms in Irish patients “ranging from mild to debilitating pain and mild to intense swelling. Some Irish victims have experienced tremors, reduced or elevated blood pressure, nausea, and impaired mobility while in rare instances, victims have developed minor wounds at the bite site or had to be treated for severe bacterial infections.”
How to get rid of this unwanted arachnid from my house? Someone said don't use a a glass; better to use a hoover because you can maintain an important distance. I went for the hoover choice. On returning to the throne room I saw the spider was gone. Webs ran from the position on the wall where it had been sitting, across our hallway and into the linen cupboard. I followed the web trail and found the unwanted creature once more. I applied the nozzle of the vacuum and it sucked in the insect. Problem over, for now. A few days later there was another False Widow Spider on the same spot in the throne room. I used the hoover again.
Scientists say the spider is rapidly becoming one of the most widespread spiders in and around houses across Ireland. Almost all bites occur in and around the home, and 88% of bites occur when the victim is either asleep in bed or when the spider is trapped in clothing. Two decades ago, this species was almost unknown in Ireland, the UK, or in continental Europe. A new genetic mutation within the species may have made Noble False Widows more adaptable to new environments. Many scientists have ruled out Climate Change as a reason for the expansion in numbers. The species is also extremely adaptable and competitive in the wild.
We have a couple of friends living in Australia. The spiders there, of course, make our False Widow seem a cuddly cutesy. Our friends tell us that the Redback spider likes to sometimes hide under toilet seats! Some of the spiders look frightening and dangerous but are not that bad. The Funnel Web is a bad one, more likely to attack than run away and it has strong enough venom to kill humans (although the last fatality was in 1981). Funnel Webs can be killed by pouring boiling water down their burrows. It's not advised to try and kill spiders in Australia by hitting them as, if you miss, you may anger them. If you do want to hit then a single accurate blow is adviseable.