POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY: Even in depths of defeat, you can be a winner

IT is that time of year when the GAA county finals come around, bringing joy for some and heartbreak for others.

Many of our youngsters and many adults play sport and even when they don't manage to get their hands on the the silverware they crave, the benefits from participation can still be huge.

As psychologists, we always say to our clients that the best form of exercise for the brain is physical exercise. When we engage in physical exercise the body produces chemicals called endorphins which reduce our perception of pain and minimise discomfort. These same chemicals also trigger a

feeling of wellbeing in the body and brain, not unlike the effect of opioids. This is one of the reasons why we often feel so much better after a good work-out or training session.

Exercise also increases the levels of a protein in the brain called brain derived neurotropic factor (BDNF). This protein has been likened to “miracle grow” for the brain in that it seems to boost our mental and cognitive abilities and may help regulate our mood.

In addition, physical exercise, whether it be on the pitch at O'Connor Park on county final day, training mid-week, working out in the gym, or walking the canal line, can often be a very mindful activity. In other words, when you are exercising you are focusing your mind on what you are actually doing, right here, right now.

So it can mirror meditation as meditation is really just focusing our attention on purpose on one thing and whether it is kicking a ball up the field, lifting weights or walking outdoors in nature it doesn’t really matter.

What matters is that we are trying to focus our attention and the more we practise that the better we get at it. As we become more skilled at managing our attention we become better at managing stress.

When clients present to us in clinical practice with depressive and anxiety symptoms in particular, we both nearly always recommend the inclusion of an activity/exercise routine as part of treatment.

Good psychological intervention is usually multi-pronged; it targets the client’s emotional life, behaviour, thoughts, activity levels, social interaction and physiological and physical functioning.

However, we have both encountered situations where self-criticism and a lack of self-compassion in our clients has hindered the benefits of physical activity and exercise. When we criticise our shape, our weight, our size; when we compare ourselves to ideal unrealistic versions of humans, for example on social media, we can find that our self-confidence and motivation to exercise suffer.

When we criticise our own performance and compare it to that of others, we may find that our enjoyment of exercise suffers too and our mood can dip.

We have both worked with clients who hold themselves to a very high standard generally in many aspects of life and specifically if they play sport. The post-match analysis (or its equivalent, depending on the sport/activity/exercise choice) can be so harsh that it can erase any enjoyment and potential satisfaction in participation. When clients cannot leave the disappointment on the pitch or in the dressing room, but instead bring it home and ruminate over their perceived failure this can have a detrimental effect on mood, self- confidence and self-esteem. For all those fantastic athletes who make it to the Olympic Games every four years only a very small proportion actually return with medals.

Psychologically we have to value the participation and the activity in itself. If we only ever focus on the result we become psychologically vulnerable. If there are winners, there have to be losers. And even the best athlete, sportsperson pr team will not win all the time. Psychological research tells us that what often distinguishes great athletes is attitude, that is, resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity. Self-criticism is the opposite of this.

We often use the analogy of Coach A vs Coach B that features in self-compassion therapy. If you had a child would you prefer them to have Coach A who is encouraging, supportive, constructive in their post-match critique or Coach B who is angry and critical when a match is lost and humiliates your child and teammates if they don’t perform? Which coach would be more likely to foster enjoyment and perseverance in your child? Which coach would get the most from your child in terms of performance? I think we all know how we would answer those questions when it comes to thinking of a loved one such as a child.

We would vouch for Coach A because we would want our child to feel encouraged and supported so that they could give their best and learn from their mistakes and enjoy what they do. However, when it comes to ourselves what coach do we choose? For many when we think about our self-talk it most often mirrors Coach B though, the harsh analysis and comparison, going hard on ourselves and focusing solely on the things we did wrong rather than acknowledging what actually went well.

Furthermore, for some adults, exercise can get completely caught up in issues about body weight and self-image. When we exercise solely to lose weight, or change the way we look, or to be like somebody else (often an unrealistic image) this is more likely to have a negative impact on body image according to the research.

Conversely, exercise which is motivated by enjoyment or for physical or health benefits leads to greater body image satisfaction and also tends to reduce food restriction. Psychologists take negative body image seriously as it can predict eating disorders and disordered eating in men as well as women.

So, for psychological well-being pick a physical activity/sport/exercise that you like and enjoy. Make it part of a healthy lifestyle. If you must compare, compare yourself to yourself, for example noticing how your fitness levels improve with practice, but try to avoid constant comparison with others. If you are on the winning team on the day, fantastic. If the day doesn’t go well, try to learn from it, be self-compassionate and leave the self-criticism and rumination on the pitch. Speak to yourself the way you would to a loved one. That way it’s so much easier to deal with disappointment and get back up and go again.

Julie O'Flaherty and Imelda Ferguson are chartered clinical psychologists, both based in private practice in Tullamore.  Through Mind Your Self Midlands, they run courses on Positive Psychology and Mindfulness through the year.  Their next course is a 'Beat Anxiety Bootcamp' over three consecutive Wednesday evenings, October 12, 19 and 26, 6.45pm to 8.15pm in Mucklagh Community Centre.  The cost is €120 (€100 early bird fee for those who book and pay by October 7).  For further information or to book, contact Imelda on 087 2271630 or Julie on 087 2399328, or send a private message on the Facebook page Mind Your Self Midlands.