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22 Oct 2025
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22 Oct 2025
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Little more than a decade after N-Dubz singer and former X Factor judge Tulisa Contostavlos fell victim to a tabloid cocaine sting which she said caused her life to fall apart, the celebrity is reflecting on the price of fame.
Now living quietly in Cheshire near her closest friends, among the few people she can trust, the self-styled ‘Female Boss’ dips in and out of the spotlight, most recently appearing in I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here!, last year.
She says fame for fame’s sake isn’t important to her.
It’s a far cry from where she was in 2013, when undercover reporter ‘Fake Sheikh’ Mazher Mahmood posed as a film producer when he met her at several luxury hotels and restaurants and claimed the singer had vowed to procure cocaine for him when he offered her a lead role in a film.
It led to Contostavlos being arrested and charged with being concerned in the supply of a class A drug, which she denied, and a highly publicised trial which collapsed in 2014 after a judge ruled it was likely that Mahmood had manipulated evidence and then lied under oath. He was later jailed for 15 months for conspiring to pervert the course of justice.
Now 37, Tulisa has written Judgement, her account of the sting, the trial and its aftermath, recounting the set-up and the shocking headlines, the terrible press intrusion, two suicide attempts as her career imploded, even after the trial collapsed and she was exonerated.
“It just felt like it wasn’t going away, just never ending. Career-wise, cool, I was free, but the damage had been done. Certain brands didn’t want to go near me, some people didn’t want to work for me anymore. There are still people walking around thinking I got done for doing cocaine, which wasn’t the case at all.
“There was so much damage done and not enough information out there of what really went down.”
She wrote her experiences in a diary during the trial, which she has held on to for nearly 12 years.
“After all that happened, I actually didn’t want the attention of being in the spotlight and exposing it all again,” she says today. “It’s only now that I’m in a more peaceful place that I’ve been able to go back to it.”
The whole devastating experience must surely have made her consider the price of fame.
Becoming an X Factor judge had attracted tabloid interest, exacerbated by an infamous sex tape leaked by an ex-boyfriend.
When the publicity surrounding the drugs trial left Tulisa’s career floundering, she was unable to make the completion mortgage payment on her Hertfordshire mansion, so lost the deposit and had to give the house back. So she ended up moving around, living in rented flats.
“I also had a million quid in legal bills, so it was a nightmare. The only reason financially I was able to survive is because of my songwriting. I have royalties which continue for the rest of my life. So if it wasn’t for being a songwriter, I would have been absolutely finished financially.”
Had she known then what she knows now, would she have chosen fame as a path?
“So personally, I wouldn’t change a thing. ”
For five years after the trial, the Camden-born singer felt fragile, vulnerable and worried about what people thought about her, she remembers.
“Somehow I’ve just got back to this place now where I think I’ve balanced my vulnerability, but I’ve also got that old savage in me that doesn’t give a s***.”
Today, she’s in a much happier, calmer place, albeit grieving over the recent deaths of her father, Mungo Jerry keyboardist Plato Contostavlos and her beloved dog, Narla. She says she distracts herself with exercise and work to help her cope.
The resilient singer is no stranger to mental health issues. At 11, Contostavlos was the primary carer for her mother Anne Byrne, who struggled with schizoaffective disorder, after her father left when she was nine.
She has lived on her own for eight years and confesses that she would struggle living with someone because she’s comfortable in her isolation.
She’s had her eggs frozen to give her more time to consider children.
“What I will say is that I currently have a long-standing emotional connection with someone in my life, but I remain single for now.
She doesn’t plan having children on her own, though. Two ex-boyfriends have said they would be happy to step up to the plate, but she’s not keen.
“If I do it, I feel like the man’s got to really make me want to have kids and set the tone in an environment that makes me go, ‘Ok, I like this’. I really would need a 50/50 partner.”
She continues to be conflicted about fame, torn between redeeming her celebrity career and the anxiety of being in the spotlight, she admits.
“I remained conflicted for many years, which is why I’d have a burst where I might release a little song, or you might see me on TV, and then I completely disappear again. That conflict exists to this day, which is why I’m always dipping in and out.
“I’m sure there are things that I could do at this point, whether it be going into the presenting world or maintaining some kind of job in television, but I like having the ability to dip in and out because of my mental health.
“I’m just not someone that could consistently be in the industry like that after everything I’ve experienced.”
In 2022, after an 11-year hiatus, she returned to award-winning hip-hop trio N-Dubz, with cousin Dappy and their friend Fazer, for a reunion tour, which sold out in minutes. The band remains a place she is truly happy and is sure there will be more gigs.
For now, she’s learned to look after herself better, exercising regularly, training an hour a day, and eating healthily most of the time.
“I go easy on myself in terms of being kind in the way that I speak to myself. In this day and age people are very harsh on themselves when it comes to self talk.”
Judgement by Tulisa Contostavlos is published by Blink Publishing on Aug 13, price £22.
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