Keeping calm in the face of September storms

ANOTHER stormy September is drawing to a close. The mixed weather has called for a consistent supply of rain coats, sun cream, hats, and brollys to help us weather the storms.

This week I experienced a perfect storm, not outside the house, but inside. Last Sunday morning we woke to find an unwelcome sight that can only mean trouble - a water stained sitting room ceiling.

Of course, these things always happen on the weekend, and so began a flurry of activity, including the desperate search for a nearby plumber and a hunt for buckets and towels.

Waking up to a water stained ceiling was not in the plan, and suddenly all thoughts of a leisurely walk were gone. Knowing how easily our wellbeing routines can get interrupted, it occurred to me that we could let this perfect storm inside blind us to the welcome bit of sunshine outside.

Facing unexpected weather

Unexpected storms can come in all shapes and sizes, and when unexpected weather comes it can have a big impact on our plans. In my case, the plan after a busy work week was to have a relaxing Sunday, including a walk by the sea to clear the head. In the face of the unexpected, our focus often latches onto the event, calling on us to fix, support, or navigate in some way.

While a leak is altogether manageable, the more serious unexpected events can feel harder to navigate. Unexpected events in relation to our health, work, or relationships can leave us feeling like we are caught in the eye of the storm, unsure what to do next, or who we can turn to.

When there is a perfect storm inside or outside our lives, we often cannot see anything else around us. It is not unusual to go into auto-pilot when there is a crisis in front of us, and although this natural response can help us to respond quickly when we need to, without a pause we can continue in this mode for longer than we need to.

Making room for perspective

It is not always easy to see how or when to take this pause when the unexpected is on our doorstep, or in my case in the sitting room ceiling.

However, remembering to take a pause when we find ourselves facing the storm can help us avoid exhausting ourselves in the moment, and give us the perspective we might need to see the drizzle from the downpour.

It is important to remember that taking pause does not need to be another big event. Pause can be as simple as a walk, taking a few deep breaths, or making a cup of tea and pausing for as long as it takes for the kettle to boil. These micro pauses can help to give our bodies and minds a chance to take a break, interrupting the panic spiral, which in turn can help us to think more clearly.

In the spirt of taking pause, I decided (after a few phone calls, and an army of buckets enlisted to stand guard!) to give myself permission to go out for the walk I had planned, despite the unwelcome leak. This seemingly small act of permission went a long way to helping us balance our wellbeing routine when the unexpected event arose.

Preparing for all weathers

While we can’t be prepared for every unexpected event that comes our way (no matter how many sun creams and brollys we have packed), we can take small steps to help ourselves to prepare for challenging times.

Resilience in times of crisis often springs from seeds that were sown long before the crisis emerged. These seeds can be sown in many forms. They may come in the form of hobbies, relaxation practices, or connecting with friends and family.
Building and nurturing a support network around us can help us to feel we are not alone when storms come our way.

Practicing simple wellbeing habits when times are good and we feel able is also important, as we can lean on these habits when times are not so good and we feel less able, giving us support when we need it most.

A final thought...

September storms can come at any time of the year, often taking us off guard and leaving us feeling adrift. Having simple wellbeing habits as well as supports in our lives can help us to take pause when crisis comes, a pause which can in turn help us to navigate the storm until calmer waters come.

Emma Coonan is an Accredited Psychotherapist with IAHIP and ICP, Lectures in Psychotherapy, and is a qualified Adult Education Trainer. After leaving Coláiste Phobal Roscrea, Emma studied English and Media in Maynooth University, before combining her Psychotherapy training with experience in the corporate world. Emma focuses on applying Psychotherapy practices for everyday living, through developing resilience, stress response, and mindfulness practice.