POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY: Kindness not only makes you feel good, it can keep you healthy and happy too

LIVING through a pandemic has taken its toll emotionally on most of us. Now we are seeing images of the devastating and ongoing war in Ukraine and its heartbreaking effects on the lives of ordinary people.

It can reasonably be said that we are living through difficult times. At times like this we really do need to take proactive steps to build our resilience and mind our mental health.

One way in which we can do this is the practice of kindness and kindness is something so many people have shown in the last couple of weeks through their donations to our new Ukrainian guests.

Most of us recognise that nice warm feeling we get when someone is kind to us. We also feel good when we behave with kindness towards others. In recent decades, scientific studies have begun to explore just what that “good feeling” is and how kindness can benefit us both physically and psychologically. While the research is not yet extensive, most of the studies conducted to date are clear that kindness has very real positive benefits for our wellbeing.

David R. Hamilton, a Scottish scientist has written a number of books on the science of kindness. In his 2013 book, “The Five Side Effects of Kindness”, he outlines five major ways in which kindness is good for us.

Firstly, kindness links with happiness. People who are kinder tend to experience greater happiness in their lives. At a biochemical level, behaving with kindness increases the levels of a chemical called dopamine in the brain, which gives a natural high, sometimes called “Helper’s High”.

Secondly, kindness is good for blood pressure and therefore heart health. Acts of kindness are often accompanied by a feeling of emotional warmth.

Emotional warmth causes the production of a hormone oxytocin, in the brain and elsewhere in the body. Oxytocin is sometimes called the “hugging hormone” or “cuddle chemical”. Research shows that oxytocin causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide in blood vessels, which expands the blood vessels, therefore reducing blood pressure. So basically, kindness produces oxytocin and can therefore be said to be cardioprotective.

Thirdly, kindness has a positive effect on processes involved in ageing so it can contribute to slowing down the ageing process. The scientific research shows that kind acts produce oxytocin and this chemical reduces levels of free radicals and inflammation in the body. Since free radicals and inflammation are involved in ageing, the effect of practising kindness is to slow down their effects on how we age.

The fourth “side effect of kindness” is that it contributes to better relationships. Basically, as human beings we are “wired” to respond well to kindness and benefit from it. Kindness improves the emotional bonds between people. Our ancestors stood a better chance of survival when there were closer bonds within groups. Nowadays, when we are kind to each other we feel more connected and form new relationships and strengthen existing ones, all of which are good for our wellbeing.

The fifth “side effect of kindness” as outlined by Hamilton is that kindness is contagious. When we are kind we inspire other people to be kind and studies show that it actually creates a ripple effect that spreads outwards to our friends’ friends’ friends – to three degrees of separation. So one kind action can actually result in dozens of people behaving more kindly.

Other studies have shown that kindness is helpful in easing anxiety and nervousness, especially in social situations. Nowadays, much psychological research is focussing attention on the effects and benefits of kindness. Interestingly, some studies distinguish between different types of kindness, for example, “strategic” kindness, where we behave kindly in the hope that we’ll get something back in return and “altruistic” kindness, where we do good without any expectation of being rewarded, just for the feel-good factor.

The research seems to indicate that different types of kindness may affect different “reward centres” in the brain. But being kind when we do not expect a reward seems to contribute to a greater brain-based happy “glow”. Hence we see the real benefit of what many people describe as “random acts of kindness”.

As psychologists, we are very excited to see an increase in the literature on kindness. It really makes for positive reading and is a lovely counterbalance to so much of the news we see in the media, much of which is negative and focusses on the darker side of human nature. We have written previously about mindfulness and mindful compassion in the mental health area. Both of these have at their core attitudes of kindness towards ourselves and others.

For many people at present, because of Covid and now the war in Ukraine, it feels like we are living with a grey cloud overhead which has a negative impact on mood and stress levels. Therefore we all need to avail of any opportunities to boost our “happy chemicals” and mental wellbeing.

Integrating kindness into our daily lives is one proven way in which we can do this. Some people have engaged in really significant acts of kindness and generosity such as opening their homes to displaced Ukrainian people or making donations of money and essential items.

But even the everyday little acts of kindness are important. A warm smile, a kind word or letting someone have the car parking space you spotted can all kickstart those nice ripple effects that make the day seem more positive. Being kinder, even in little ways really does contribute to the resilience which helps us get through difficult times.

Imelda Ferguson and Julie O'Flaherty are chartered clinical psychologists, both based in private practice in Tullamore. Through Mind Your Self Midlands, they run courses on Positive Psychology and Mindfulness through the year. They write a fortnightly column for the Tullamore Tribune and Midland Tribune.

They will present a half-day course on how to manage and reduce stress, anxiety and worry later this month.

A Morning of Mindfulness and Positive Psychology for stress, anxiety and worry management will take place in the Central Hotel, Main Street, Tullamore (opposite Lidl) on Monday, April 25 (10am-1pm).

The fee for the course is €90 (an early bird fee of €75 applies when paid by April 4) and the fee includes course materials, tea/coffee and hotel parking.

For further information or to book a place, contact: Imelda on 087 2271630 or Julie on 087 2399328 or send a private message on their Facebook page Mind Your Self Midlands.