POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY: Find the time to give your head some peace of mind

LAST week was the 25th anniversary of the Good Friday Agreement and the country reflected on how it has brought some peace to our island.

But it also reminds us of another kind of peace. How often have we heard people say that they just want “a bit of peace” or would like to have “peace of mind”?

And remember the Covid-19 lockdowns? While most of us found them very challenging and unpleasant, nonetheless we may at times feel that we would like to hold on to just a little of the simpler, less frenetic life the full lockdowns brought.

In this article we will focus on the psychological need for us all to develop ways to find some calm and stillness in the midst of our busy lives and often even busier minds.

We will embed this in some thoughts on a lovely book entitled 'Finding Peace' which was compiled by Sr Stanislaus Kennedy. Sr Stan, as she is fondly known, is a well-known social campaigner who founded a number of voluntary organisations such as Focus Ireland and The Immigrant Council of Ireland.

She also founded The Sanctuary in Dublin where we have attended a number of reflective courses and meditation retreats, which helped us find a little peace in our busy lives.

Sr Stan was prompted to compile 'Finding Peace' by the challenges of the Covid-19 pandemic and lockdowns. She posed the question: “Where and how do you find peace in your daily life?” to a wide range of people, many of whom are well known in Irish life.

Contributors to the book include President Michael D Higgins, the Tanaiste Micheal Martin, women’s health advocate, the late Vicky Phelan, rugby player Johnny Sexton, comedian and actor Tommy Tiernan and many others.

The written contributions are interspersed with extracts from poems and writings, all centred on the theme of inner peace. We have to say we found the experience of reading the book to be a very calming one, which prompted us to reflect on what we are doing and need perhaps to do more of, to cultivate moments of peace in our lives.

There is a quote in the book from the famous violinist Yehudi Menuhin, who says “peace may sound simple — one beautiful word — but it requires everything we have, every quality, every strength, every dream, every high ideal”.

From a psychological perspective, it is easy to get caught up in the busyness and worry and over-stimulation of daily life, so we may have to consciously work at finding those oases of peace.

Not surprisingly there are several themes which are evident throughout the book. Many of the contributors speak about their experiences of finding peace by spending time with loved ones and family and friends.

As humans we are a social species and our connectedness with other people is crucial for our wellbeing. This is most likely why many people found the restrictions on social gatherings during lockdowns extremely challenging.

Let’s hope we can hold on to our appreciation for being able to spend time with the people we care about.

In this column we have frequently written about the very real benefits of mindfulness for our mental health and general wellbeing. Many of the contributors to Sr Stan’s book speak about their practice of meditation.

For others, praying or spending reflective time alone in a quiet place seems to offer those cherished moments of peace. As psychologists we often see how when life becomes stressful the nervous system and our mental processes tend to “speed up” causing us even more distress.

So we would often say to clients that when life speeds up, we need to slow down. Regularly practising meditation or any activity that helps us feel a little calmer, actually increases our resilience in the face of life stresses.

Several contributors to the book describe how immersing themselves in nature or in music help them find peace. In this column we have previously extolled the virtues of taking a mindful walk or going to a place of natural beauty such as a lake or forest. Listening to music we like promotes the release of the natural feel-good chemicals dopamine and serotonin and helps us relax.

As psychologists we find that the trick often is to prioritise these activities, rather than waiting until we “have the time”. When life is busy and stressful (as it often is), we need to make time for self-care and ideally build it in to our daily and weekly routines.

Imelda Ferguson and Julie O'Flaherty are chartered clinical psychologists, both based in private practice in Tullamore. Through Mind Your Self Midlands, they run courses on Positive Psychology and mindfulness throughout the year. They can be contacted through the Psychological Society of Ireland website  (Find A Psychologist section) www.psychologicalsociety.ie or on their Facebook page, Mind Your Self Midlands.

In a recent interview about her book, Sr Stan commented that the busyness of modern society and the “always on” connection to devices and social media can make it difficult to regularly find peace.

In our practices we often speak to clients who have trouble sleeping and who spend hours scrolling on social media before they go to bed. We also hear couples complaining of loneliness and discontent in their relationships because of the intrusion of social media.

Finding the balance is often the key. While there are many benefits to our use of technology, having a practice of regularly “switching off”, both physically from our devices as well as mentally, is really important.

In the words of Sr Stan: “It is a wonderfully rewarding and beautiful experience, finding that inner peace.”