'Big guy with big heart' mourned as Offaly Person of Year 2021 is laid to rest

TULLAMORE businessman, counselling service founder and 2021 Offaly Person of the Year James O'Connor was buried on Monday after a moving funeral Mass in his home town.

The 43-year-old died after an illness on St Patrick's Day and hundreds of mourners paid their respects at the Church of the Assumption.

At a service which opened with an emotional rendition of Frank Sinatra's 'My Way', celebrant Fr Fergal Cummins described the owner of shopfitting firm Fititout.ie as a very helpful, honest and hardworking man.

“He loved chatting with people and encouraging people to reach their full potential. James mentored many different people here in Tullamore and beyond, as evidenced by his founding of ACT, Accessible Counselling Tullamore,” said Fr Cummins.

“James did not just fit out shops and stores, he encouraged people to aim for excellence, to ask the right questions, to improve things, to be fussy and always do the job right. A community man, James valued people. Judging by the numbers of you here, he not only knew you all, but loved you all.”

Gifts representing aspects of the deceased's life, from his entrepreneurship, to his work promoting better mental health and to his life in the construction industry, were brought to the altar.

In his homily, Fr Cummins quoted from St Philip Neri who said that if one wanted to go to extremes one should do so in sweetness, patience, humility and charity.

“This quote sums up James' life. He was a big guy with a big heart. He loved his wife Lisa, adored his nieces and nephews and took his role of godfather most seriously.”

Fr Cummins added: “Growing up in Tullamore and later settling in Knockowen Road, James always knew the value of money and learned many important life lessons early in his life.”

In hard times he sought help and learned to adapt and his favourite book was Alfred Lansing's 'Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage' “because it spoke to him of resilience, to hang on in there, better days lie ahead”.

“Like everyone else in this church James had his demons. He sought help and he faced his struggles, grew through them and taught others to love themselves more. One may say that over the years James learned to love himself more.”

Picking up on the theme of the virtuous man being blameless before God, Fr Cummins explained how he had got to know James from visiting him in hospital over the previous couple of years.

“What would normally be a few minutes' visit in the hospital could end up being an hour because James was very funny and a highly engaging conversationalist.”

He recalled God's graces were flowing through Mr O'Connor before he died. “James' honesty always shone through him. May we be honest always too.”

Fr Cummins referred to Mr O'Connor's daughter Leah Victoria, who died as a baby in 1999: “James often said he was not afraid of death. He was at peace with himself and he looked forward to being reunited with the soul of his beloved baby girl, Leah Victoria.”

The priest spoke of how James treasured his memories with his wife Lisa. “James had a lot of love in his heart. He was very passionate, sensitive, present and focused, in helping people, and in guiding people away from harmful habits or destructive tendencies.”

Fr Cummins recalled an old maxim from his psychological studies: “The mind can be a dangerous place, don't go there alone.”

Accessible Counselling Tullamore (ACT) had helped many people to stay alive, to cope better to address their hurt and to receive healing, grace and growth, and had done a lot of work and will continue to do a lot of work.

“Perhaps that work doesn't often get acknowledged. We must continue to support ACT. Don't let it die.”

Mr O'Connor had reached out to concretely help people from his own resources.

“James was a proud son of Tullamore. He taught us all that we are always growing, we all need support, both to offer it by giving it and to be humble enough to receive it. He was a very generous man. He paid for the latest batch of flowers around this church. He often helped people who needed help.

“James himself was very creative, entertaining and loving to people. He liked things to be simple, direct and he absolutely hated lies. James loved his farm in Cadamstown and spent many the time there with his beloved nephew Jamie.”

Addressing a congregation where many of James' friends and work colleagues wore high-vis jackets, Fr Cummins pointed out that St James was the patron saint of labourers.

The song 'Candle in the Wind', with the opening words changed to “Goodbye gentle Jim”, was sung, as was 'One Life' by Dermot Kennedy.

Jason McDermott, an old friend of James, read a poem the deceased and Lisa loved, 'If' by Rudyard Kipling, which begins: “If you can keep your head when all about you/Are losing theirs and blaming it on you/If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you/But make allowance for their doubting too...”

Mr McDermott remarked: “James wanted me to thank everyone, but I don't want to do that. I know it'll be all of us thanking James for spending his short time here with us.”

James' remains were brought to Clonminch cemetery for interment in a Fititout.ie van, a fitting tribute to a man whose passing is deeply mourned by so many businesses in Tullamore and much further afield because of the contribution his company made to them.

In a tribute, Tullamore & District Chamber of Commerce said Mr O'Connor had been an active member and promoter of the chamber for many years, and a man who founded his retail fit-out firm in 1997 and built it into one of the leading companies in the country with many award winning projects.

“Despite his busy schedule, James always found the time to support so many community projects and charities and was a promoter of mental health awareness throughout the Midlands and beyond, launching the Green Ribbon campaign. In his pursuit of improving mental health services in the Midlands, James and Lisa established ACT Tullamore in 2020, providing professional and accessible counselling services for people throughout Ireland,” the chamber said.

“It was a huge privilege to have known him. This truly inspirational gentleman has inspired and helped so many people in our community. He leaves behind a legacy that will continue to help the lives of many people into the future.”

James O'Connor, Knockowen Road, Tullamore died peacefully in his sleep with his beloved wife Lisa by his side.

He was predeceased by his baby daughter Leah Victoria, who died in 1999. He will be sadly missed by his wife Lisa, his mother Dolores, her partner Eddie, his brothers Jason and Michael, his sister Jane, his father-in-law Eddie and mother-in-law Teresa, his much loved nieces, nephews, godchildren, brothers and sister in law, aunts, uncles, cousins and his huge circle of friends.