‘It’s the biggest act of self-care I’ve done’: Dawn O’Porter on quitting drinking and focusing on self-love

Dawn O’Porter says she quit drinking overnight – which is something she “never thought” she would do.

The author, 47, who releases her memoir, Hungry Eyes, in June, says she has made some big shifts to be the best version of herself.

“There were some major lifestyle changes in the last five years – I’ve quit drinking, which I never thought I would do,” she says.

O’Porter, a mother-of-two based in London, stresses she does not want to be “preachy” about quitting alcohol, but she woke up one day and was “sick of being hungover” and decided, almost overnight, to stop drinking.

“I’ve partied for 30 years. If someone wants to call me boring, they can go ahead,” she says, jokingly.

O’Porter adds that she “still imagines (herself) as an old lady with a sherry”, so this might not be forever – but for now, she says: “That is the biggest act of self-care I think I’ve ever done.

“People’s perception of how fun you are really changes, and I just have to block out all of that noise and focus on myself.

“What you realise is, a year later, no one actually cares. My social life hasn’t changed at all, I still go out all the time, I still have as much fun as ever.

“It was just, you have to reassess who you are without a drink in your hand.”

O’Porter says she is feeling more “productive” than ever after focusing on self-care in recent years.

“I didn’t always look after myself”, she says. “I think I was quite wild when I was younger, health and wellness was not on the agenda. Fun, success, working really hard, striving, those were all the things that drove me.

“Now my life is centred around me taking care of myself – that has come with being 47, it has come with being a mum, and wanting to be really, really productive.

“I gear myself constantly around, what can I do to make me feel as good as possible, look as good as possible, and be as productive as possible.”

Her other tip for self-love is strength training, something which becomes increasingly important as we get older.

However, having never been a “naturally sporty person”, this is something she has had to work on.

“I’m not a natural exerciser… I was never sporty at school,” she explains.

“I don’t have that craving for those endorphins, I would rather eat a burger or some cake, whatever it is.

“But there is just no doubt that, at this point in your life, if you exercise, especially with weight training, it has a phenomenal effect on the way you feel physically and mentally.

“When I started doing it, only about six or eight months ago, I felt totally in control of myself, and my body felt really strong, and that was an amazing feeling.”

She says she lives “religiously” by the 80/20 rule, which means she focuses on eating healthy foods 80% of the time and allows herself to indulge for the remaining 20%.

“I’m really indulgent by nature and me fighting my indulgent nature is a daily effort… I love food so much, it is the love of my life,” she says.

“I work on my own, I can make most of my own meals, so 80% of the time I’m really looking after myself, 20% I eat what the hell I want.

“If I go out for dinner, I don’t even think about it, I eat the most delicious thing on the menu that I can get.

“For the first time in my life, I don’t think about calories or anything like that. I just really focus on health as opposed to anything else when it comes to food.”

O’Porter’s final rules for self-love and self-care include reading books that “serve your soul”, only following accounts on social media that “make you feel good” and listening to music.

O’Porter, who shares two sons, Art, 11, and Valentine, eight, with actor husband Chris O’Dowd, says she often has “Classic FM blaring in the background” while working and writing, as this keeps her “peaceful”.

If she were to plan out her ideal self-care day, she would have breakfast with her children, drop them off at school, get to her office and go through her emails, before doing a strength training class.

She would then return to her desk, which is “surrounded by books and dresses”, spend the day writing and cook a “delicious lunch” before finishing at around 5pm and spending more time with her family.

“I was always someone who took care of other people, and now this new version of me, where I really take care of myself first, has meant that I am so much better at taking care of other people,” she says.

“I think that is the biggest lesson that I’ve learned, the older that I’ve got.”

O’Porter is now hosting a series on Classic FM, celebrating love in all its many forms, and she says that self-love is just as important as the other loves in her life.

She believes “love comes in so many forms” but added that self-love, along with food and classical music, is her “vibe of the year”.

“I have my husband, who is the big love of my life, I’ve got my kids and that’s another kind of love, and then I have my girlfriends,” she says.

“Honestly, I spend most of my time in my friend WhatsApp groups – it’s the first thing I do in the morning and it’s the last thing I do at night, saying goodnight to everybody.

“My female friendships, I could not live without them, and I celebrate them as much as I celebrate my marriage, the love of my life.

“One thing about getting older is I give those friendships so much of my time… I nurture them and I take care of them, and I think that’s something that changes the older you get.”

Classical Love Themes with Dawn O’Porter – Fridays at 9pm on Classic FM and Global Player – the official Classic FM app.