Embracing the imperfections this Halloween

HALLOWEEN is almost upon us, and with it comes the many familiar sights, sounds, and seasonal traditions we often associate with this time of year. Some may be getting ready to take some much looked forward to time off for mid-term. Others may be busy dusting off the seasonal decorations, getting ready for the goblins and ghouls to pay a visit next week.

While doing my food shopping last weekend, I noticed the usual boxes of orange pumpkins, ready for Halloween. As I continued shopping however, I noticed something I haven’t seen in previous seasons – boxes of wonky vegetables, gourds, and coloured corn, all equally sporting the “Seasonal Halloween” label.

I was glad to see an opportunity to reduce, reuse, and recycle vegetables this Halloween, and also found myself thinking about the pursuit of perfection when seasonal milestones come around. It occurred to me that while, as the phrase reminds us, ‘perfection is the enemy of the good,’ it can also be the enemy of the ‘good enough’ when it comes to our wellbeing.

Perfection as the enemy of the ‘good enough’
Some of you might be familiar with this phrase. It means if we strive only for perfection we might never complete the task before us, and in so doing we can miss out on something just as good, if not better than good. Another phrase, ‘good enough,’ is one that often comes up when we begin to explore wellbeing literature.

Born from theories about the imprint that early experiences can have on our development, ‘good enough’ refers to the idea that, fundamental to the experience of being human, we can’t be perfect or get it right all the time. However, if we do our best with open hearts and open minds, we can often do just as good and valuable a job, without the added stress of the inner critic giving us an additionally hard time.

So while perfection can be the enemy of the good (i.e. a job well done), it can also be the enemy of the ‘good enough’ (i.e. permission to do our best). If you notice yourself struggling under the weight of the perfectionist task master, consider how you could exercise some self-compassion, by acknowledging all that you are doing well this week.

‘Good enough’ does not have to mean ‘not good enough’
For some, this idea of ‘good enough’ can have negative connotations. By placing it in opposition to ‘good’ or ‘perfect,’ it can feel like a loss, like giving up, or perhaps like dropping our standards, which may feel very important to us. Looked at in this way, the idea of ‘good enough’ can feel like a double edged sword, suffering both at the hand of perfection, and imperfection.

The good news is, ‘good enough’ does not mean we cannot strive for our goals, or aim to accomplish things that feel important to us. What it can provide is the opportunity to put down the perfectionist stick that we often use to beat ourselves with, helping us to access self-compassion and self-care, towards ourselves and others, both of which can be essential for our wellbeing.

One way to access self-compassion and try to soften our inner critic is to imagine an old tape recorder (if you’re like me and enjoy the traditional imagery!). A bit like the musical statues game we sometimes play at Halloween, imagining pressing the ‘stop’ or ‘pause’ button can interrupt the negative thought cycle, helping our minds and our bodies to relax, and re-focus.

Embracing your inner wonky vegetable
As I looked at the displays of wonky vegetables in the supermarket, it occurred to me that we could learn a lot from the idea of embracing our inner ‘wonky vegetable.’ While we can have an idea in our minds about how vegetables should look, we can forget that ‘wonky’ is in fact their natural state, and they often make the tastiest stews.

Similarly, when we think about our favourite Halloween characters, it is often their flaws, and mistakes in the pursuit of doing their best, that make them the most human, lovable, and relatable.

This Halloween, why not consider the idea of embracing your own inner wonky vegetable, by allowing some imperfections to exist - whether that means the im-perfect decorations, costumes, or even the long awaited mid-term break.
Giving ourselves permission to embrace imperfections can help to take some pressure off, supporting us to see things in a different light.

A final thought...
The idea of ‘good enough’ can look and feel different for each of us. This Halloween, why not consider what it might look like for you, by embracing the idea of your inner ‘wonky vegetable,’ and in so doing, an opportunity to relax, rest, and reset.