'Two are better than one': Offaly columnist reflects on World Friendship Day

'Two are better than one... If either of them falls, one can help the other up' (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10)

On July 30 next, we celebrate World Friendship Day, a day that invites us to pause and give thanks for one of God's greatest gifts, the people who have walked beside us on the journey of life. The Book of Ecclesiastes reminds us why friendship is such a precious blessing: "Two are better than one... If either of them falls, one can help the other up." (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10).

A while back, my wonderful family treated me to an evening at the musical Wicked. I sometimes think they secretly enjoy watching me reach for the tissues during the more emotional moments! They know me well enough to realise that whenever I witness genuine love, forgiveness, kindness or faithful friendship, my heart is never far from tears. As we shared that special evening together, I was reminded of the beautiful words from the Book of Proverbs: "A friend loves at all times." (Proverbs 17:17).

As I watched the story unfold, I found myself reflecting, not simply on the characters in the musical, but on the people God has lovingly placed in my own life. One of the musical's central themes is that the people who enter our lives often leave us changed forever. Without borrowing its famous lyrics, it beautifully reminds us that no true friendship leaves us exactly as we were before. As I sat quietly, faces began to fill my mind. My wife. My children. My family. My friends. My colleagues. My neighbours. Teachers who encouraged me. Coaches who nurtured me. Parishioners who inspired me. Neighbours who showed kindness. Colleagues who believed in me. Even strangers whose compassion arrived at exactly the right moment.

Changed for good

Looking back over the years, one overwhelming thought filled my heart with gratitude. Because of them, I have been changed. Changed for the better. Changed by kindness. Changed by love. Changed by friendship. And through every one of those friendships, quietly and faithfully, changed by God. As I left the musical that evening with my family, I realised that the greatest gift they had given me was not simply an enjoyable evening together. They had reminded me once again that love is often spelled T-I-M-E. Their thoughtfulness, their generosity and simply wanting to share something beautiful with their dad became another quiet reminder that God so often chooses to love us through the people He places beside us. Perhaps that is one of God's greatest miracles. He changes lives, not only through extraordinary events, but through ordinary people who simply choose to love one another well.

One of God's greatest gifts

One of the greatest gifts God gives us in this life is the gift of friendship. Not merely the casual acquaintances we greet in passing. Not the hundreds of names stored in our phones or the countless followers we may have on social media. But those precious souls who quietly walk beside us through life's joys and sorrows, those who know our strengths and our weaknesses, who have seen us at our best and our worst, and yet choose to love us anyway. Friendship is a holy thing. It is also one of the hardest things to nurture well. Real friendship asks something of us. It calls us beyond ourselves. It asks us to listen more than we speak. To forgive more than we condemn. To encourage rather than criticise.

To remain faithful when life becomes difficult. To love without counting the cost. True friendship is never about possessing another person. It is about helping one another become the unique people God created us to be. The Book of Sirach expresses this beautifully, "A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure. A faithful friend is beyond price." (Sirach 6:14-15). How true those words are. In a world that often measures success by wealth, status and possessions, God reminds us that even one faithful friend is worth more than all the riches of the world. There is an old saying that if you have enough true friends to count on one hand, then you are among the richest people on earth. The older I become, the more I believe those words.

Sacrament of Friendship

Many years ago I came across a beautiful expression that has remained with me ever since. Someone described friendship as "the sacrament of friendship." I have loved that phrase ever since. Like every sacrament, genuine friendship is an outward sign of God's invisible grace. Through the kindness of a friend, God whispers, "You are not alone." Through a listening ear...a reassuring embrace...a shared cup of tea...a timely telephone call...a handwritten card...or a whispered prayer...God reaches into our lives with His healing love. Some of the greatest moments of God's presence in my own life have not come through dramatic miracles, but through ordinary people who simply chose to become extraordinary friends.

A true friend does not necessarily solve all our problems. They simply refuse to let us face them alone. When our world grows dark, they become a light. When our faith grows weak, they help us believe again. When we stumble, they quietly offer us a hand instead of a lecture. When we lose hope, they gently remind us who we really are. Without even realising it, they become part of the person we are becoming. That is one of God's quietest miracles. There is a beautiful icon of the Trinity painted by the artist Andre Rublev.

I have a small replica of this icon to the right of me with my prayer candle lighting beside it now as I write this reflection. The persons of God; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, sit around a small table. Each person has coloUr and shade that gives them personality. While the icon itself is quite beautiful, what is more beautiful is the presence of a gap. The side of the table closest to the viewer is left open, vacant; there is space at the table with God and to share in real friendship with Him. A friendship can operate much in the same way. With a true friend, someone with whom we share a bond of life, we make space for them to encounter more. They encounter more of our deepness, our broadness, our darkness, our light, our wholeness in Christ. In that encounter they are confronted with their own depths as well. A holy way of friendship honors the fact that we are simultaneously sinner and saint. And yet there is a space made for us in the world. Like any good sacrament, we are brought to the crossroads of God, self, and others in a friendship. We are able to find the gritty way of loving God with everything and our neighbour as ourselves (Matt. 22:38-40). In fact, a friendship is a beautiful context for learning how to keep the many and varied commands of Jesus about generosity, forgiveness, courage, mercy, faith, hope and compassion.

Our truest friend

Perhaps that is why one of the most moving moments in the Gospel comes during the Last Supper. Jesus says to His disciples, "I no longer call you servants... I have called you friends." (John 15:15). Imagine those words. The Lord of Heaven and Earth desires not merely our obedience but our friendship. He knows every hidden fear. Every regret. Every failure. Every dream. Every tear we have ever shed. Yet He never withdraws His love. Then He shows us what friendship truly means. "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." (John 15:13). The Cross is the greatest act of friendship the world has ever known. Every genuine act of friendship reflects something of that same selfless love. Whenever we sacrifice our time, our patience, our comfort or our attention for another person, we become living reflections of Christ Himself.

Friends who help us become ourselves

The ancient Irish had a beautiful name for this kind of friendship. They called it Anam Cara which means a Soul Friend. A Soul Friend sees beyond our faults. Believes in us when we struggle to believe in ourselves. Lovingly tells us the truth because they want us to become the very best version of ourselves. Encourages us to become not copies of themselves, but the unique person God created us to be. The Book of Proverbs reminds us, "Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17). Looking back over my own life, I can honestly say I would not be the person I am today without the friendships God has given me. They have laughed with me. They have cried with me.

They have challenged me. They have forgiven me. They have prayed for me when I had no words left to pray. They have seen goodness in me that I could not yet see in myself.

Because of them, I have been changed for good. Perhaps the greatest gift a friend can offer is simply their presence. In today's busy world, people often do not need perfect answers. They need someone who will simply sit beside them. Someone who will listen without judgement. Someone who will cry with them instead of trying to explain away their pain. Someone who will quietly reassure them that they are not facing life alone.

A world longing for friendship

Sadly, one of the greatest hidden sufferings of our time is loneliness. Many people smile in public while quietly crying in private. There are elderly people who wait all day for the sound of the telephone. Young people surrounded by hundreds of online friends who feel desperately alone. Families carrying hidden grief. People living with illness, anxiety, depression or loss, wondering if anyone even notices. Perhaps the greatest ministry any of us can offer today is not another opinion. Perhaps it is simply friendship. A visit. A phone call. A cup of tea. A handwritten note. A warm embrace. A listening ear. A sincere question, "How are you... really?" Saint Paul encourages us, "Bear one another's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2). Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness become the greatest acts of love. We may never know how much one conversation, one smile or one unexpected visit means to someone who is silently carrying a heavy cross. One day, none of us will be remembered for how busy we were, how much money we earned or how successful people thought we were. We will be remembered for something much simpler. Did we love well? Did we notice the lonely? Did we forgive? Did we encourage? Did we stay when others walked away? Did people leave our presence feeling a little more hopeful because they had met us? Those are the things that echo into eternity. Perhaps it is simply our presence. We may never know how much one conversation, one visit or one act of kindness means to someone who is silently carrying a heavy cross. As the Book of Ecclesiastes reminds us, "Two are better than one... If either of them falls, one can help the other up." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). God never intended us to journey through life alone. He created us for communion with Himself and with one another.

Thought for the week

As your thought for the week as you read this reflection, perhaps one face has quietly come into your mind. Someone who believed in you. Someone who carried you through a difficult season. Someone who prayed for you when you had no strength left to pray. Someone whose friendship changed your life. If they are still with you, tell them. Don't wait.

Don't assume they already know. Thank them. Bless them. Pray for them. Then ask yourself another question. For whom is God inviting me to become that kind of friend? Who is lonely? Who is grieving? Who is struggling silently? Who simply needs someone to notice them? This week, don't just think about friendship. Be one. Make the phone call. Write the letter. Send the message. Call to the neighbour. Offer forgiveness. Spend time with someone who feels forgotten. One small act of kindness, offered with love, may become the answer to someone else's prayer. Never underestimate what God can do through a caring heart.

Let me leave you with a prayer I wrote called - The Priceless Gift of Friendship - "Loving Father, Thank You for the priceless gift of friendship. Thank You for every person You have lovingly placed along our journey, those who have laughed with us, cried with us, encouraged us, forgiven us, challenged us and loved us into becoming better people. Bless those faithful friends who have carried our burdens, strengthened our faith and reminded us that we are never alone. For those who feel forgotten today, send someone to walk beside them. For those carrying silent grief, send compassionate hearts. For broken friendships, bring healing. For lonely hearts, bring hope. Lord Jesus, You have called us Your friends. Help us to reflect Your faithful love in every friendship we share. Teach us to listen patiently, forgive generously, speak kindly, encourage sincerely and love selflessly. May we not simply look for good friends, but strive each day to become one. And may our lives leave gentle footprints upon the hearts of others, so that because they have known us, they have come to know You a little better. May the Lord bless every friendship that has helped shape the person you are today. May He bless those who have believed in you, prayed for you, walked beside you and never stopped loving you. May He make you a faithful friend to the lonely, a source of hope to the discouraged, a comfort to the sorrowful and a reflection of the compassionate Heart of Christ to everyone you meet. May those whose lives you touch one day be able to say with grateful hearts, "Because of your friendship, I too was changed for good." And may someone, because they were loved by you, come to believe a little more deeply that they are loved by God. And may Almighty God bless you, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen."