Father’s Day: The quiet strength of love observes Offaly columnist
Fatherhood has never really been about presents. Fatherhood has always been about presence.
Father’s Day arrives each year with cards, gifts, laughter, barbecues, familiar jokes about socks and ties, and well-meaning messages that say, “Relax Dad, you’ve earned it." But perhaps Father’s Day is inviting us into something much deeper. Perhaps it invites us to pause. To remember. To heal. To forgive. To love. Because fatherhood has never really been about presents. Fatherhood has always been about presence.
"Honour your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12). "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise." (Ephesians 6:1-2). Today is more than a celebration. It is an invitation to look again at the men who helped shape us, fathers, grandfathers, stepfathers, mentors, teachers, godfathers, uncles, and those beautiful souls who loved us with a father’s heart.
As we prepare for this heartfelt day, let’s take a moment to reflect on the lessons, love, and wisdom our fathers have shared with us. Perhaps Father’s Day invites us to ask ourselves difficult questions. Have I thanked my father enough? Have I told him what he means to me? Have I forgiven what needs forgiveness? Have I loved well enough? Because time quietly keeps moving. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
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The quiet strength of fathers
A father is often the quiet strength in the background of our lives. The steady voice saying, "You’ll be alright." The tired hands that kept working when nobody noticed. The sacrifices made silently. The worries carried privately. The prayers whispered when nobody else was listening. Many fathers carry burdens they never speak about. Many fathers love more deeply than words allow. Many fathers spend their entire lives trying to give their children something better than they themselves received.
And perhaps that is one of the greatest acts of love there is. "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6). "The righteous man walks in his integrity; blessed are his children after him." (Proverbs 20:7). "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
(Ephesians 6:4). Being a father is not easy. Being a good father may be one of the hardest callings there is. Because being a father means continually giving pieces of your heart away while hoping you have given enough.
What every human heart longs for
There is an old Portuguese story about a father and son who became estranged. The son ran away. After months of searching without success, the father placed an advertisement in a newspaper. It simply read, "Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father." On Saturday, over 800 men named Paco arrived. Eight hundred people. Eight hundred hearts.
Eight hundred souls longing to hear, "All is forgiven." "I love you." Perhaps this story reminds us of something beautiful. Underneath our achievements. Underneath our failures. Underneath our pride. Underneath our wounds. Many of us still carry the same longing. To know we matter. To know we are loved. To know someone is waiting for us. "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1).
For those who find Father’s Day difficult
Father’s Day is beautiful. But sometimes it hurts. Some will celebrate with their fathers. Some will visit graves. Some will remember phone calls never made. Some will carry complicated memories. Some fathers themselves quietly carry grief. The child they lost. The relationship that broke. The mistakes they wish they could undo. The words they wish they had said. Today there is room for all of it. For joy. For gratitude. For sadness. For healing. "A father to the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy dwelling." (Psalm 68:5).
For those carrying loss today. May gentleness find you. May peace hold you. May love remind you that grief itself is evidence of how deeply you cared.
What my father taught me
I am blessed and fortunate enough to still have my Dad, Ricey. When I think of him, I do not think about perfection. I think about consistency. Sacrifice. Patience. Strength. Forgiveness. Love shown not only through words but through ordinary days repeated thousands of times. He showed up. Again. And again. And again. My Dad was never an anchor holding me back. Nor a sail carrying me where I needed to go. He became something far greater. A light. A guiding light whose love continues to show me the way. Rarely do we thank our fathers enough. Rarely do we tell them, "I see what you did for me." "I know what it cost you." "Thank you."
What fatherhood teaches us
As a father to Mia and Sophie, I have discovered something unexpected. Children do not simply teach us how to parent. They teach us how to love. They teach patience. They teach humility. They teach sacrifice. Most importantly, they teach us that love is not merely something we feel. Love is something we repeatedly choose. Every day. "Love is patient, love is kind." (1 Corinthians 13:4). Fatherhood is not about perfection. It never was. It is about showing up. Trying again. Apologising when necessary. Holding your family close. Choosing love repeatedly.
To every father reading this
Thank you. Thank you for the sleepless nights. Thank you for carrying worries nobody saw. Thank you for working when you were tired. Thank you for continuing when you felt inadequate. Thank you for trying. Your love matters more than you know. Your presence matters more than you realise. Your children may forget many things. But they will never forget how you made them feel. "You are my beloved son; with you I am well pleased." (Luke 3:22). Perhaps these are words every child longs to hear. And perhaps they are words every father should speak more often.
Thought for the week
As your thought for the week, do one thing you have been delaying. Call your Dad. Visit him. Hold his hand. Say thank you. Write the message. Make peace. Say I love you. If your father has died, tell someone a story about him. If your relationship is broken, try to take one small step. If you are a father, hug your children a little longer. Put down your phone. Listen more. Be present. Because one day there will come a moment when we would give almost anything for one more conversation. One more hug. One more ordinary day. So this week, choose love while there is still time. Because at the end of our lives, it will never be the things we own that matter most. It will always be the people we love.
And how well we loved them. Let me leave you with a special Father's Day prayer poem that I wrote for this special day - "Heavenly Father, Today we thank You for fathers. For grandfathers. For stepfathers. For godfathers. For mentors. For teachers. For all those who have loved us with a father’s heart. Bless the fathers who are exhausted. Comfort the fathers who grieve. Strengthen the fathers who feel they are failing. Heal relationships that need healing. Bring peace where there is pain. Give courage to fathers trying their best in difficult times. Teach us to be slower to judge and quicker to love. Help fathers realise that their presence matters more than perfection. For those whose fathers now rest with You, may memory become blessing and grief become gentleness. For those carrying wounds from fatherhood, bring healing. For those longing to hear “I love you,” may they encounter Your love today. Help us all become more compassionate. More forgiving. More present. More loving. Because the world does not simply need stronger fathers. It needs more loving ones. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen."