TRANSFORMATION

A poem by Edenderry witer Dr Philip Brady dedicated to the exploits of Adrian Brereton on the RTE Show Operation Transformation

The crowd began to gather

Round the Court House in the square,

There were lots of shapely sizes

In the hundreds gathered there;

They came with prams and buggies

And an old unlicensed dog,

And with Adrian they started

On their Transformation job.

They left behind Tandoori

And they started down the street,

Margerhita, Isabella,

Where the pepperoni met;

They passed by Larkin’s Bistro

With Mag’s kitchen, side by side,

They faced the Chinese “Sunrise”

As they passed by “Gold Fries”.

Going past the Pet Shop

The parrot thought it strange

That the crowd was chasing Adrian,

And was speechless in his cage;

But the Budgie kept on talking

Saying, “Watch him if you please,

If he didn’t have his breakfast

He’ll go into McNamee’s.”.

They went by New Row corner

As towards the church they went,

But the hill was heavy going

And their energy was spent,

Said the Parrot to the Budgie

When his voice again was strong,

“They should try it Sunday morning

When the crowds are not as throng.”

The hill was soon ascended

With Ofalia House in view,

Some were walking strongly

But some were struggling too,

Said the stragglers in a chorus

For everyone to hear,

It’s more respite that is needed

For the nursing homes around here.

They circled around the back roads

And began to change their track

It’s population transmigration

Says the parrot, coming back.

That’s nonsense says the budgie

As he bristled up his comb,

It’s Operation Transformation,

They’ll be skinny coming home.

There’s a Troika in Dublin

In a corner of Montrose

Who are advocating cutbacks

On anything that grows,

With a tape around his nipples

And a slide rule on his thigh,

They made war on Brereton’s breakfast,

And reduced his BMI.