19 Aug 2022

Satirical website pokes fun at Offaly border town describing it as an 'awful kip'

Satirical website pokes fun at Laois town described as 'awful kip'

Main Street Portarlington

An Irish satirical site has poked fun at a poor Offaly border town minding its own business, but the locals are taking it in good spirits.

'Man actually lives in Portarlington of his Own Free Will' is a story on the website. 

"A 36 year-old man who doesn’t seem mental or anything has said that he actually lives in the town of Portarlington of his own free will. Brian Delaney swears he has not been relocated there as part of a witness protection programme or anything like that and claims that he actually likes the place.

"'I know everybody else lives here because they grew up here and don’t have the money to leave but I think the place has a certain charm to it. I particularly love how all the buildings look like they’re about to collapse.'

"Records show that in the last year alone 27 people died of boredom in Portarlington and those numbers continue to rise. Local councillor Barney Fitzmaurice told us the deaths have nothing to do with the current lockdown.

"Mr. Fitzmaurice said the local council are currently waiting on a decision from An Bord Pleanála to approve plans to have Portarlington demolished and rebuilt."

Read the full story here. 

The community Facebook page Love Portarlington shared the link, and said "something we had to share, best laugh we had in ages".

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