8 things that will happen in every Irish pub after Covid restrictions axed
1. Someone will lose the run of themselves
Pints after 8pm. Sitting at the bar for the first time in two years. The once forbidden drink in the pub will be too much for one of your lightweight mates. He'll be home in bed before the nine o'clock news.
2. Reminiscing about the pubs being closed
After a few lovely pints in the pub, you'll start to reminisce about the days you walked by the bolted up doors of the local. 'Isn't it hard to believe the pubs were closed, IN IRELAND. 'Jayzus, do you remember the Covid certs then and all.' 'Mad, wasn't it'..........'Will we have another one?'
3. We'll all be bankrupt...
The elation of the pubs reopening properly again with no social distancing or limits of table numbers novelty of the pubs will see us all heading out for a night out, a proper one beyond 8pm! But we'll be up the next morning strapped for cash after going mad on the pints, the shorts and the shots, singing Sweet Caroline.
4. Off License owners will be in tears
Spare a thought for the off-license owners who have been cleaning up for the last two years with people drinking at home. They did enough business last year to pay for a cruise. Now they'll have to settle for a week in Tramore. However...
5. Publicans will be loving it
From not being open at all to calling last orders at 8pm, publicans will now be rubbing their hands with glee in anticipation of a record-breaking day. There'll be many a 'late one' sunk tonight!
6. Bar staff will be raging
The Covid pub was fairly civilised with sitdown only and early closing times. While they will be happy to be working proper hours, bar staff will now have to deal with the cavalry charge towards them at the bar when they should 'Alright there, folks, time to go home.'
7. Joe Duffy's Liveline will light up on Monday
Joe Duffy's Liveline will open on Monday and there will be one spoilsport calling for a return of the Covid certs and early closing even though NPHET have given the go-ahead for a full reopening. "Covid hasn't gone away you know, Joe."
8. It will be an anti-climax
After all the debate, the arguments, the outrage and the numerous pints, we'll all wake up on Sunday and wonder what the hell it was all about because it will have just been another Saturday night in the pub......but the first proper one in a long time, let's be honest!!!
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